I was very naughty this year and didn’t send out a single Christmas card to anyone. Not even TSM’s business associates. Life was wonderfully busy and something had to give.

However, I do want to wish all of you a very, very safe and Merry Christmas!!!

This morning I received an email from a woman who wanted to share her thoughts. I will admit her words touched me and I think she may represent many female gun owners. At least I hope she does as she is a fine example. I asked to post her very eloquent words here. She gave me permission. Please read…

I am a mother. I am a single woman. I am a gun owner.

I have sat by quietly as the anti-gun propaganda machine has churned heavily over these past seven days. I have not stood on the rooftops and yelled about my 2nd Amendment rights and the facts about gun ownership vs. gun control. I have done so out of respect and compassion for the children that were murdered by a madman. As a mother, my heart bled and continues to bleed for the senseless loss of life at Sandy Hooks Elementary School.

I spent that Friday evening cuddling and kissing my children, overwhelmed with gratitude that for one more day they were safe and well, tucked under my wing in a protected space. This is not unusual for me, the fact that Friday nights are pretty sacred in our home is a known fact to those who know me well. Friday nights are a time for the three of us to spend together, reconnecting and unwinding after a hectic week of school, work, doctor and orthodonist appointments, ball games, ball practice, the busy life we live together. This Friday it was a little more though. The tragedy in Connecticut weighed heavily on my mind as I am sure it did most everyone in the country.

Like most parents I dropped my children off at school the following Monday with a heavy heart and a knot in the pit of my stomach. I watched my little man walk in to the school, his Gamecock bookbag covering his whole back because he’s so small, and I dealt with knowing I was leaving him in a place where he was entirely defenseless, not a police officer or a security guard in sight. All day I fought the urge to go sit in the parking lot and keep a watch over him and his schoolmates, to stand guard over the smallest and most vulnerable in our society. I admit I did give in to the urge and join him for lunch, where I regrettably was forced to leave my gun in the car.

Ah, you see, there in lies the crux of the issue. There was a time not very long ago that leaving the gun in the car would not have been a dilemma for me because I lived in blissful ignorance. I felt that my mere presence alone was enough to keep my children safe from harm. Making them hold my hand got them safely across the street. My kisses held magic that could cure boo boos in an instant. My bed held safe refuge from nightmares that danced into their minds in the middle of the night. For anything that was wrong, I, as Mom, held the answer, the cure, the fix. They trusted me implicitly to keep them safe and I naively believed that my Momminess was enough to do so. Who would dare mess with my cubs with Mama Bear right there?

A little more than a year ago I went on a date to a gun range. I had never shot a gun before and figured I liked this guy, he liked guns, what the hell, why not? I had never held the notion that guns, as inanimate objects, were good or bad, but I admit I was pretty nervous about actually shooting one. The first time I pulled the trigger I was hooked. To this day there are very few moments to me as peaceful as that split second after I fire when I know that shot is perfectly placed inside the 10 ring. Admittedly those shots are fewer and further between than I would like, but when they happen it’s an amazing feeling. After that date I still didn’t think I needed to own a gun, but begged him to take me back to the range so I could shoot his.

My attitude about that changed one evening as my children and I were carrying groceries in from the car. A man came in to our yard and somehow I allowed him to maneuver himself between my son and I. He kept walking towards me all the while assuring me he meant me no harm. His words did little to offset his actions and I felt, in that moment, more threatened than I ever have. Certainly more threatened than I had at a gun range, which is crazy because I am surrounded by men with guns there, right? Thankfully that man left without doing us any harm but I was left shaken and ashamed. Ashamed that I had always looked at my children and vowed that I would let no harm come to them on my watch, that I would do everything in my power to protect them and keep them safe, yet I was unwilling to actually do so. I was unwilling to enter into the trenches of owning and carrying a gun, the most effective means of protection allowed to me. That night my resolve was set, I would do whatever it took to keep my children safe from harm, by any means necessary. The President of the United States protects his family with an armed security detail, were my children any less valuable than his? Any less worthy of protection, even by deadly force if that is what it took? The answer to that was, and still is a resounding no.

The 2nd Amendment was, for me, just part of the Constitution that I had to learn in school. I knew what it said but didn’t give too much thought to what it actually meant. I took for granted that “shall not be infringed” seemed pretty self explanatory to me, yet I learned very quickly that this right, afforded to us by our founding fathers, was at every turn being infringed upon. And now, here we are, entering into a battle with anti gun groups who base their assault upon the Constitution on emotion and fear, rather than facts. They scream for gun control without stopping to realize that no form of gun control could have stopped this terrible act of violence. The fact is that the elementary school was a gun free zone as a result of gun control. The teachers and the administrators that were selflessly willing to stand in front of a man with a gun were defenseless to stop the attack, because of gun control. The monster that attacked the school did so with guns that were stolen, they were illegally obtained, and no amount of gun regulation on the legal owning and possession of firearms could have changed that. Gun control failed the children of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Millions of gun owners in America did not shoot people today. It is illegal to bring guns in to schools. It is illegal to steal guns. It is illegal to kill people except in the defense of yourself or others. These laws were already in place before last Friday; one person disregarded every single one of them and committed a heinous act of violence. I will not feel guilty for owning guns and I will not apologize for being willing and able to protect my family by any means necessary. Those that do not want to own guns do not have to but I go to sleep every night knowing my family is as safe as humanly possible. If you choose not to own a gun and someone breaks in to your home you will sit and wait for someone with a gun to arrive to save you and yours. I have the comfort of knowing that someone with a gun is already in my home, someone who will not hesitate to eliminate a threat to my family with deadly force, if that is what it takes.

I am not a monster. I am not a criminal. I am a mother. I am a responsible, tax paying, law abiding citizen of this great country. I am a gun owner. And I’m unwilling to sit idly by as my right to protect my family is chipped away.

I was planning on posting a list of blogs worth reading, but Jay G already did.

I would add The Cornered Cat and also head on over to The Minuteman and wish my friend Barron a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It was brought to my attention that a fellow blogger has had a bit of a rough patch. He is a veteran and YOUNG who had a heart attack and a whole host of other bumps in the road.

If you think you might be able to help, head on over to Tin Can Assassin’s place and hit the tip jar.

Old NFO also has a post up of another who could use a little love.

Thank you so very much for your support yesterday. All the comments left here in addition to those sent privately warmed my heart.

I would like to say that the email and the words this man chose to use didn’t bother me a bit and I went on my merry way because I hate to give him any satisfaction, but to say that would be dishonest.

The truth is his words stung a little. I am not sure that I will ever read those words and not be affected. The thing about bullies is that they find the thing that most terrifies you or scares you, or upsets you and then they use it to do just those things. Clearly my biggest regret and the thing that causes me the most pain stem from that day and revolve around my daughter.

As most know I have already faced those feelings and chose for the good of myself and especially my children to heal and move forward in a positive way, so although the words stung, they didn’t cause me great harm or pain.

I have to say if you are the kind of person who would write such an email and you got a single ounce of pleasure from knowing you caused another person harm, then that says an awful lot about you and what it says isn’t good.

Yesterday I decide to do two positive things. One be an example to my child and two make someone else feel appreciated.

I did not give her the details, but when my daughter asked me why I wasn’t my usual peppy self, I told her someone was unpleasant to me. I wanted to reinforce to her that no one deserves to have power over your life and they can’t unless you let them. I gave her enough info as to use it as a teachable moment without getting into the ugliness of it. She knows when I am down my tendency is to shut down, be quite and usually, if its bad, retreat to my room for an hour or so. I wasn’t that bothered by his words, but I wanted to make a point. I told her letting someone else keep you from the joys of your life is the real cruelty and one that can only be perpetrated by you. Letting anyone keep me down is not the lesson I want to teach. I want to teach how to not only keep going, but to do it joyfully. That is just what we did. We did school like normal, then got a coffee and headed to the library. A place we both love. After, she asked if we could head to the mall to buy her friend’s Christmas gift. As luck would have it fate intervened and handed me an opportunity for part two.

As we walked through the mall I saw a young Marine coming our way. He was mighty impressive in his Blues. Of course, he was a Marine in his Blues. Always impressive. He was on his way to lunch. Taking a quick break from doing the Toys For Tots gig. I stopped him, thanked him for his service and shook his hand. He was the sweetest young man. He thanked me and M. I asked if I could buy his lunch. He started to say no, but stopped himself and said with a smile, sure.

He went to a fast food joint in the food court, so it cost me all of $10, but it made him blush with gratitude making me feel like I had spent $100.

I had a major pep in my step the rest of the day and was down right giddy in EMT class. So much so that my classmates thought I had indulged in a little holiday cheer before class. They were giggling at my silliness. I was not obnoxious by any means, but I tend to be a very serious and quite student and not one to make jokes and comments(like TSM does). I had the class rolling so hard the one of the other instructors came out of her office to see what was up. I might have possibly been making a light hearted joke about her. She also laughed.

At the end of the day the meanness of this man probably gave him only a momentary second of pleasure and me only a momentary second of pain. Doesn’t seem worth it.

I am not sure how much joy the Marine felt or for how long, but I know when someone is kind to me, no matter how small, it carries me for a good long time. I know the generosity of the Marine letting me buy him lunch gave me a pleasant memory that I will hold onto for a long time and hopefully so will my daughter.

Have the most wonderful day and thanks again for the kindness and support you showed me yesterday. I will carry that with me too.

Over the past few days I have received a major increase in the hate filled email, endless diatribes left on my FB wall and pithy insults on my twitter feed from the newly bolstered anti gun crowd. I have for the most part ignored and deleted them.

One guy all but threatened me. He posted on my time line that “You better hope we never meet”. Yeah, I am terrified. Anyway, I didn’t respond. I just deleted and blocked him. Most of the comments left on the blog that follow the same kind of insanity I have not approved. Emails same. DELETE!

This morning I received this email…

“With all due respect aren’t you the mother who didn’t protect her own child? Just because you are a bad mother and are feeling guilty doesn’t mean the rest of us should have to live in fear of being shot by some reckless gun owner. You made a mistake and now you want the laws to be changed so you can shoot people.”

It goes on, but you get the gist.

While this email was clearly not meant to be respectful in the least. Quite the opposite actually. It was mean spirited, but regardless some points should be addressed.

One is these anti gun people are not all that concerned with mental health or the stability of people. If I were on the edge then an email such as this might cause me to react in some crazed violent way. If I was terrified a person might snap I don’t think I would give them any extra motivation. Also, they are liars. I can’t imagine that if this person were so terrified of me and my gun toting ways he would send an email provoking me. The truth is this person knows no matter how mean and awful he is to me he is perfectly safe. He knows there is nothing he or anyone could say that would make me react in a violent way. Even my husband who I assure you was none to pleased isn’t a violent threat to this person or any person who isn’t directly causing us grave or mortal injury.

The biggest thing I wanted to address is changing laws. No, no I don’t think any laws should be changed or enacted based on my opinion or experience. Had this person bothered to read my blog they would know that. I have probably stated it in half a dozen blog posts dating back to June 2011. In addition I do not need to try to change the laws. I already am allowed to carry a gun and I have never ever claimed I wanted to shoot someone. I have said repeatedly I have no desire to shoot anyone even a bad guy. If I did I wouldn’t spend twice as much time on learning awareness techniques as I do to actual trigger time. I wouldn’t lock my doors or avoid sketchy places. There are no laws, anywhere in this country that say “Go forth and kill. It’s cool.”

As I said in those previous posts, in the post yesterday, in a comment made also yesterday and a remark on my FB, emotion has no place in law.

Some find my story emotional and inspiring, but it’s not a manipulation tool. It should not be used to justify infringing on the rights of others. There is a woman who was using a twitter conversation with me to attack some other gunnies. Her response to everything was , “how dare they attack a domestic abuse survivor.” First off, no one was attacking her and second that is not a default argument. She is not more right because she was attacked and now has a clearing understanding of gun laws. Anymore than I do because I was.

I have a clearer idea of what I want to do to keep myself and my family safe, but really there needs to be no discussion on gun laws. We have a fine document in place that tells us ALL exactly what our INDIVIDUAL rights are. We have it so that no matter what is going on one person can not infringe on the rights of anyone else. No matter what you think or say its protected. No matter what you or I believe about guns the right to bear arms is protected. No matter if planes fly into buildings the right to not be subjected to unlawful search and seizure is protected. Now, those rights are getting trampled on, of course, but that is because people are breaking the law. These people have decided they don’t like the law, so they are ignoring it and taking away other’s rights. Something I have never done nor advocated.

Now, I am exhausted. I need a break from the mean, hateful, vile filth that passes for human beings.

So, Saturday TSM and I were gone from 830am-til 830am on Sunday. My older son and DIL came over to watch the kids for us. When I got home Sunday morning I made a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage and crispy potatoes. As I cooked my son was telling me all the haps of the previous day. The Boy was pretty good, but kept getting out of bed, the dog didn’t had any accidents, but ate someone’s shoe, E was perfect as per the usual…

Then there was M. She told him all about her trip to the range and how much she enjoyed it. She asked him to get our friend’s gun from the safe, so she could show him she knew how to loaded/unload it. There were absolutely no bullets around and all this was done in our safe area. Anyway, she mentioned to him that a blogger friend of mine offered to let her shoot his gun and someday maybe she would have her own. When I heard that I about ran out the door and purchased her a .22 that second.

There just happened to be a gun show that day and I planned on popping up there, but I had been gone a long time and I needed to spend time with the little kids. Plus later that day we were celebrating The Boy’s 7th birthday and I needed to prep. A friend emailed me and said she had a connection and I could get the same gun M shot for xxx amount of dollars. That sounded like a viable option.

TSM thought it better to get her a S&W M&P .22 and since he gets a discount that seemed like a financially smart way to go. A few days went by and I began to wonder if she really needed a gun. She can’t carry it, still not sure how excited she really is, we are not tight on money, but we are always budget conscience, already bought Christmas presents and all that. I told TSM it might be a better idea to wait until her birthday. He agreed.

Our 3 little kids have no idea at all about the school shootings. We saw zero benefit in telling them, but M is aware. I have tried to limit her exposure. I want her to know what is going on and understand, but not to be so immersed that she dwells on it. I hadn’t realized how much of the gun debate side of it she had been following.

On our way to E’s Christmas concert last night M, out of know where said, I would really like to get my gun before the president makes it impossible for me to do so and I really want a silver blackstrap from Gun Goddess.

A bit of a game changer. Clearly this is coming from her. So, even though I really want a new knife I am going to put that on the back burner and a few other items as well and get her a gun for Christmas.

John has offered to sell me one of his which is great because Smith & Wesson can’t get me one before the 25th. I am ordering the back strap today as well. It will be fun to get her a cool range bag someday and her own ears…

Wonder if the range is open Christmas Day;)

I know M thanked everyone personally for their kind words of encouragement, but let me also say how very wonderful it was. THANK YOU!

This morning while paying bills I turned on Mike and Mike on ESPN. David Stern the NBA commissioner was on talking all things basketball. I do not care much for that sport, so I pretty much tuned out the interview until Mike Greenberg brought up the recent shootings in Connecticut. Mike had asked Mr. Stern why they did the tributes to the victims before each game. Apparently they held a moment of silence to honor the victims.

Mr. Stern said(paraphrasing here), really it was worthless. There is nothing to do. We do these things to make ourselves feel better. It makes us feel like we are doing something and that helps us to feel good, but what did it do to help? Nothing.

Very well said.

This is what we do and I am no exception. I want to help others and I want to feel good. Who wants to dredge through life miserable and afraid? Not me. But feeling good should not legislated and it shouldn’t be paid for with the rights of others.

When we pass new laws, cancel television shows, stop accepting coupons from gun companies, when we enact new laws, etc, etc, etc. We are doing things to make ourselves feel good. It doesn’t matter if any of these things had any barring on the events that unfolded in that school or if they have any hope at all of stopping the next one. All that matters is that for a second we can feel better and we can go then back to sleep having effected nothing.

We control the mind not the other way around. If we just stop thinking about it and convince ourselves a few more laws or a few more restrictions will be enough we go on. That way we have “done” something. We have “done” all we can and plus it means we don’t have to actually DO anything. We don’t have to take responsibility or make any changes. We get to tell ourselves we did something, we tried and then we can blame the cops, the politicians, the crazy gun owners… We get to call folks who stock up on food and supplies wacko preppers because then we don’t have to give up a trip to Disneyland when we should probably be taking a look at how we can better prepare ourselves to first avoid and then deal with a disaster.

The only problems is people are dying and in gruesome fashion. They are dying. Those children died. They were murdered. Violently and without mercy murdered. If you have shed a single tear. If you claim to have an ounce of compassion. If you really care at all you will stop trying to do things to feel good and you will do something good. You will do something that has at least a chance of working. Making more laws that criminals will not follow is about making you feel good. If that killer was willing to break 24 laws then I doubt the 25th would have made a flying flip of difference. This monster was not sitting around watching Top Shot and planning his rampage. People do not murder casually. Punishing law abiding citizens who have committed no crime is about making you feel good.

I hate to break it to you, but when people are murdered it really isn’t about you or how you feel. I really have no desire to put my life at risk or my children’s and walk around defenseless, so you can feel better.

My mugging should have zero barring on the laws of this land. I am emotional about it, so right or wrong, I can offer nothing more than an understanding of what it is like to be mugged. Emotion does not have a place in law making. Laws are there to protect us from the power hungry, the corrupt and the emotional. For every victim who is for more gun laws there is an equal number against them. Laws should be made for the good of the entire people and should be put in place to guide us in times of emotion, not be developed out of them.

When I was mugged I blamed only 2 people. My attacker and myself. I can’t control him, so I looked at myself to figure out what I could do to put myself in a better position for survival should the element I couldn’t control decided to come after me again. I took responsibility. I didn’t blame the cops or the grocery store parking lot or even my parents. They had some influence as did society, but it was me who stood there and did nothing. It was me. I did not come after you or anyone else. I didn’t go to congress and ask for new laws to protect my lack of action. I took action. Law abiding, legal action and I took responsibility for my part in that day. I can tell you none of it felt good. I didn’t feel good after I picked myself up off the ground, I didn’t feel good as I hid in the bathroom and took care of my scraped up arms and back. I didn’t feel good when my so called friends turned their backs on me. I didn’t feel good when my daughter looked me in the eye and told me she didn’t feel safe because I didn’t stop the and guy. It didn’t feel good when I showed up in the park to learn how to defend myself. I felt anything but good. I felt sad and lonely. I felt lost and broken. I felt ashamed and confused. I felt scared and and hopeless. And I fought all of that everyday for over a year in order to take responsibility. In order to feel good again.

Not a single law has changed in my town since the day I was attacked, but I am safer. My children are safer. My community is safer. Granted I feel better, but I feel better because I know if my life is in danger again, I have viable solutions to up my odds of stopping the threat.

My extra bag of rice, my gun, my ammo, my kerosene heater are of real value to my survival. I used no government funds to purchase those items. In fact the purchase of those items only helped contribute positively to a failing economy. I have never harmed a single person. I am of no threat to you. Your desire to label me crazy and limit my rights will only serve to put me at more risk and it has ZERO chance of doing anything for you other than to make you feel good.

Please forgive me, but your facade of happiness just isn’t worth my life. I won’t hand it over without a fight.

My husband and I are no different than any of you. We were and are heartbroken over yesterday’s events.

I have posted this article before, but for those of you who have kids in school I think it is one of the best resources to help equip children to deal with the very real possibility that something could happen at their school. I do not believe doing so will frightening them if it is approached in the right way.

Our oldest daughter had to read the article for herself and then we discussed it several times. I would give her possible scenarios and she would then tell me what she would do. For the younger ones we role played and made a game of it. Several friends of our read this blog and they can tell you my kids are calm, relaxed and very kid like. They never talk about guns or bad guys. They do not live in Code Yellow. It is just another way we teach them to be safer like wearing a seatbelt, looking both ways before they cross the street, not touching a hot flame, etc.

My husband and I met with our school superintendent and several other folks responsible for the safety of the children while at school. We presented them a packet full of resources and this article was in it and we discussed it at length. I am not confident they read it, but we at least made the effort. We also gave it to our children’s teachers.

In addition to this article, I have read several of the books on Greg’s recommended list. I read them before I knew he had suggested them, but I agree they are very valuable. The more we know the more we can do.

Please don’t be fooled if your child is in a small school or a private one or in an affluent area. Crazy and evil reside everywhere and sometimes it travels. Take the time now to do a little preparing.

When M and I arrived home from the range we were met with the sad news that a young man from her high school had committed suicide. He was a senior, 17. M did not know him well, but they were friendly to each other. They casually chatted in the hallways and laughed at silliness they saw. One of M’s dearest friends was his neighbor and they were very close. Apparently yesterday at school was a somber and quiet one. They had grief counselors and everyone was distraught.

His death is a bit of a mystery at this point. He was liked by teachers and students. He was smart and funny and was not bullied. Who knows what really happens behind closed doors, but his family appeared to be solid. M’s friends were all very upset and shocked. None of them saw it coming. One boy said he was playing XBox with the young man the night before. They were laughing and having a good time. I suspect in the days that follow we will find out there were signs.

A ran into a casual friend while out and about and she asked me if I felt bad for carrying a gun.

Me- Why, would I feel bad?

This young man jumped from a bridge into freeway traffic and was struck by a vehicle.

Her- You are contributing to violence.

Me- How?

Her- It’s an attitude that perpetuates the idea that violence is ok.

Me- Lisa(not her name) have you ever seen me be violent to anyone or anything? Have you heard me say a cross word to someone or even behind their back?

Her- No, of course not. You’re very kind.

Me- Then how am Icontributing?

Her- You carry a gun for no reason. It’s like you are advertising violence is the answer.

Me- How did you find out I carried?

Her- I came to your house and you answered the door with it on.

Me- Right, you came to my house, unannounced and when I opened the door you saw My gun. Did you ever see it before that time?

Her- No.

Suicide is very sad and very complicated. There are no easy answers. She was/is looking for a quick fix to a problem that doesn’t have one and that’s fine and natural, but useless. It makes sense to try to find a way to deal with something so tragic. Often doing something, anything gives us comfort and a sense of purpose, but in situations where people are dying those things we do can’t be casual or knee jerk. A bad solution is NOT better than no solution. We can, by our actions, make things worse. Getting rid of guns will do nothing to prevent suicide. It will only serve to cause more death and violence to innocent people who will be at the mercy of a bad guy or maybe two.

I can go on and on about all the reasons, but most of you already know. What I think is worth looking at is that outside of the crazy Joans of the world many anti gun people are simply misinformed. There are a lot of people who are not crazy anti gunners or who are simply looking for people to take care of them. They don’t know what they don’t know. We need them on our side. We need them to understand that the bull they have been told is just that, bull. It’s doable. Barron and Robb have some good ideas on how gunnies can handle themselves is a positive manner.

I had a long chat with her about suicide and guns. She did not know my brother had killed himself or that I was mugged. Outside of this blog I rarely talk about either. She was reacting out of grief and shock, but after we talked she was willing to concede that perhaps her solution was not the answer and she apologized for lashing out at me.

I am glad my daughter was not at school yesterday. I am glad she was home with me. I am glad that while she mourned this young man’s passing she was in a place where she knew she was loved and cared for. I am glad that she is secure in herself and that while many of her friends were falling apart she was a calm easy voice of comfort and support.

I remember those days and weeks and months after my brother died. I remember how it destroyed my parents. It destroyed them in ways that 10 years later neither has recovered. There is something very unique about the death of someone you love dying by their own hands. My heart goes out to this young man’s family. I pray they find comfort and positive ways to heal.