I Am A Mother by Melissa G.

This morning I received an email from a woman who wanted to share her thoughts. I will admit her words touched me and I think she may represent many female gun owners. At least I hope she does as she is a fine example. I asked to post her very eloquent words here. She gave me permission. Please read…

I am a mother. I am a single woman. I am a gun owner.

I have sat by quietly as the anti-gun propaganda machine has churned heavily over these past seven days. I have not stood on the rooftops and yelled about my 2nd Amendment rights and the facts about gun ownership vs. gun control. I have done so out of respect and compassion for the children that were murdered by a madman. As a mother, my heart bled and continues to bleed for the senseless loss of life at Sandy Hooks Elementary School.

I spent that Friday evening cuddling and kissing my children, overwhelmed with gratitude that for one more day they were safe and well, tucked under my wing in a protected space. This is not unusual for me, the fact that Friday nights are pretty sacred in our home is a known fact to those who know me well. Friday nights are a time for the three of us to spend together, reconnecting and unwinding after a hectic week of school, work, doctor and orthodonist appointments, ball games, ball practice, the busy life we live together. This Friday it was a little more though. The tragedy in Connecticut weighed heavily on my mind as I am sure it did most everyone in the country.

Like most parents I dropped my children off at school the following Monday with a heavy heart and a knot in the pit of my stomach. I watched my little man walk in to the school, his Gamecock bookbag covering his whole back because he’s so small, and I dealt with knowing I was leaving him in a place where he was entirely defenseless, not a police officer or a security guard in sight. All day I fought the urge to go sit in the parking lot and keep a watch over him and his schoolmates, to stand guard over the smallest and most vulnerable in our society. I admit I did give in to the urge and join him for lunch, where I regrettably was forced to leave my gun in the car.

Ah, you see, there in lies the crux of the issue. There was a time not very long ago that leaving the gun in the car would not have been a dilemma for me because I lived in blissful ignorance. I felt that my mere presence alone was enough to keep my children safe from harm. Making them hold my hand got them safely across the street. My kisses held magic that could cure boo boos in an instant. My bed held safe refuge from nightmares that danced into their minds in the middle of the night. For anything that was wrong, I, as Mom, held the answer, the cure, the fix. They trusted me implicitly to keep them safe and I naively believed that my Momminess was enough to do so. Who would dare mess with my cubs with Mama Bear right there?

A little more than a year ago I went on a date to a gun range. I had never shot a gun before and figured I liked this guy, he liked guns, what the hell, why not? I had never held the notion that guns, as inanimate objects, were good or bad, but I admit I was pretty nervous about actually shooting one. The first time I pulled the trigger I was hooked. To this day there are very few moments to me as peaceful as that split second after I fire when I know that shot is perfectly placed inside the 10 ring. Admittedly those shots are fewer and further between than I would like, but when they happen it’s an amazing feeling. After that date I still didn’t think I needed to own a gun, but begged him to take me back to the range so I could shoot his.

My attitude about that changed one evening as my children and I were carrying groceries in from the car. A man came in to our yard and somehow I allowed him to maneuver himself between my son and I. He kept walking towards me all the while assuring me he meant me no harm. His words did little to offset his actions and I felt, in that moment, more threatened than I ever have. Certainly more threatened than I had at a gun range, which is crazy because I am surrounded by men with guns there, right? Thankfully that man left without doing us any harm but I was left shaken and ashamed. Ashamed that I had always looked at my children and vowed that I would let no harm come to them on my watch, that I would do everything in my power to protect them and keep them safe, yet I was unwilling to actually do so. I was unwilling to enter into the trenches of owning and carrying a gun, the most effective means of protection allowed to me. That night my resolve was set, I would do whatever it took to keep my children safe from harm, by any means necessary. The President of the United States protects his family with an armed security detail, were my children any less valuable than his? Any less worthy of protection, even by deadly force if that is what it took? The answer to that was, and still is a resounding no.

The 2nd Amendment was, for me, just part of the Constitution that I had to learn in school. I knew what it said but didn’t give too much thought to what it actually meant. I took for granted that “shall not be infringed” seemed pretty self explanatory to me, yet I learned very quickly that this right, afforded to us by our founding fathers, was at every turn being infringed upon. And now, here we are, entering into a battle with anti gun groups who base their assault upon the Constitution on emotion and fear, rather than facts. They scream for gun control without stopping to realize that no form of gun control could have stopped this terrible act of violence. The fact is that the elementary school was a gun free zone as a result of gun control. The teachers and the administrators that were selflessly willing to stand in front of a man with a gun were defenseless to stop the attack, because of gun control. The monster that attacked the school did so with guns that were stolen, they were illegally obtained, and no amount of gun regulation on the legal owning and possession of firearms could have changed that. Gun control failed the children of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Millions of gun owners in America did not shoot people today. It is illegal to bring guns in to schools. It is illegal to steal guns. It is illegal to kill people except in the defense of yourself or others. These laws were already in place before last Friday; one person disregarded every single one of them and committed a heinous act of violence. I will not feel guilty for owning guns and I will not apologize for being willing and able to protect my family by any means necessary. Those that do not want to own guns do not have to but I go to sleep every night knowing my family is as safe as humanly possible. If you choose not to own a gun and someone breaks in to your home you will sit and wait for someone with a gun to arrive to save you and yours. I have the comfort of knowing that someone with a gun is already in my home, someone who will not hesitate to eliminate a threat to my family with deadly force, if that is what it takes.

I am not a monster. I am not a criminal. I am a mother. I am a responsible, tax paying, law abiding citizen of this great country. I am a gun owner. And I’m unwilling to sit idly by as my right to protect my family is chipped away.

34 thoughts on “I Am A Mother by Melissa G.

  1. I, too, am a mom, and wife who will do anything to protect my family. I have a Taurus .380 that I use for my conceal carry. My husband has a conceal carry permit, I am in the process of obtaining mine. However, I really feel that it is unnecessary to be permitted. I think we should all carry and not worry about gun free zones. Of course, courthouses and police stations, and now airports are places where you need to leave your gun in the car or face consequences but those are decisions we as adults should be capable of making. I know a lady who has always lived in CA and has had a pistol in her purse for more than 35 years. No permit, just knows that she is not doing anything illegal and therefore she carries, for protection for her kids when they were little, protection from rattlesnakes (plenty where they live) and now protection from the public at large. I live in an open carry state. This means everyone who has a gun should be carrying all the time in public. However, I never see anyone carrying. I know many are CC but we also need to take our right to openly carry seriously. I have made a decision that I will be open carrying from now on. I want to promote open carry among all of us that live in open carry states, the rest of you, follow your conscience.
    By the way, excellent article.

    • Did you know that open carrying when its LEGAL can have dire consequences on the legality of open carrying? Notice how California changed their laws recently, because people started open carrying and some folks got scared and phoned the police. Instead of the dispatcher informing the caller that the person described only as “carrying a gun” was not in violation of any laws, the dispatchers wasted precious state resources sending police to the scene and hassling the open carriers. This of course led to legislation banning open carry in the state of Commiefornia. Just saying here that obeying the laws can have dire consequences… If someone is afraid of firearms, it is because they’re uninformed. Its not because guns are dangerous. 300,000,000 guns were NOT used in a crime today. Guns were used to save 2100 lives today… however the small fraction that were used otherwise are blown way out of proportion to scare the population into believing that guns are dangerous. Guns are incapable of being violent, they can do one of two things; function, or fail. The violence that happens comes from the hearts of the criminals without regard for human life and or respect for human life.

      • I am with you all the way up to “obeying the laws can have dire consequences.”

        The problem here is not the law abiding citezen.

    • Wow! What an amazing article. Many, many thanks for making this available to us all.

      In re open carry: personally, I feel that both open carry and concealed carry have their place. I would not want to compel someone to carry openly, just as I would not want someone uncomfortable with guns to carry one. Concealed carriers are comfortable with what they do, and they are a powerful deterrent to criminals who know there are guns about… but don’t know where. Open carriers are comfortable with what they do, too, and they send a powerful message to those who want to believe guns don’t exist around them, or that only policemen carry guns.

      As you can probably guess, I’d feel safest knowing that my community has a non-negligible percentage of open carriers AND concealed carriers. Unfortunately, open carry is highly illegal in my state. (And due north of the border, I can open-carry with no permit at all. Go figure.)

      Be well.

  2. Wow! That should be a letter to the editor in every paper in the land. Well, except nobody actually reads the paper any more. But, still.

    Well written! Well written indeed.

  3. Melissa, I am a grumpy, un-polished, un-caring, crotchety, old man. (so I’ve been told) The tradgedy in Sandy Hook brought tears to my eyes as I thought about my kids, (now grown) and my grandkids ever being in such a situation. I lost a daughter to violence when she was 26. I cannot fathom her loss 20 years earlier.
    Your letter has also brought tears. If I were as eloquent as you, I would be standing on the rooftop, shouting to the masses.
    I wish you all the luck in avoiding violence altogether, and succes in defending if you can’t

  4. Thank you all for taking the time to read what I had to say. I am moved to tears at the positive words and encouragement.

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  6. Very well written and moving. Hard to argue with fact.

    But, if i may, our rights were/are not “afforded us by our founders”.

    Rights come from the Creator, God, The Great Spirit, whatever you call your deity. They are not derived from the Govt. We, as free men/women are born with these “unalienable rights”.

    To suggest that rights come from the Govt. suggests they may be infringed upon by said Govt. Dangerous thinking there, Very dangerous indeed.

  7. “These laws were already in place before last Friday; one person disregarded every single one of them and committed a heinous act of violence.”

    Truer than you know. According to the Brady folks Connecticut has the fifth most restrictive gun control in the U.S. All of the laws being proposed to keep us safe from the next school killer, including an “assault weapon” ban, are already in effect there.

  8. A Girl, thanks so much for sharing Melissa’s story.

    Melissa, bravo!!! You stated very well what a lot of us feel. Here’s a suggestion (you all can do this)

    Go to your child’s school. Follow the laws and lock your weapon in your locked car. Then, mentally, turn into a bad guy. Ignore the signs that say “You must register at the office”. Just keep walking. I did this at each of my grandchildrens’ schools last week…and both visits were epic fails for the schools.

    I’ll skip all the places I went, and what I saw. It was school, lots of teachers and kids smiling and saying hello. NO ONE KNOWS ME AT THESE SCHOOLS! No one asked to see a pass. It was a very warm, welcoming experience…oh, wait, I forgot, I was thinking as a bad guy.

    After first visit, I called the superintendent and told him what I saw, what I hope he changes, and made him promise that each of the rooms has at least an egress window. This school is older, so no outside doors on the classrooms. He agreed, said they’d spent all day looking at ways to harden up the schools. I told him I saw a target rich environment. I also told him to expect a call from me after the holiday break….you never know when a gramma on a mission will show up.

    At the second school, after my stroll (in each place, I spent 3 minutes wandering the halls) I found the secretary and told her about it. She was appalled. “But the signs…” she said. I said “Hey, I’m a bad guy, I don’t care about your signs. Hell, I’d probably shoot the stop sign over your office door just cos it ticked me off. Oh, and all the glass in the entry area? One round and I’m in.” She started crying! Because only the day before, they’d had 3 very ticked off parents who were sent back to the office for not having checked in. The school was very proud of themselves…until I showed up. She thanks me at least 10 times, and was appalled at how complacent the school had become in just one day.

    We agreed that I don’t fit the profile (young male, long coats, etc). I just look like someone’s mom….with a long coat on. But whose to say that I wasn’t a mom going thru a bad divorce, custody battle…whatever.

    so, take some time out of your day and check your schools’ security. Abide by ALL the laws, and then, tell the school what you found. Don’t be foolish and act suspicious. But do look at it thru the eyes of a bad guy. And with the heart of a parent.

  9. Very well written, Melissa! I have always been very timid and scared of guns and the harm that I know they can cause. Therefore, I have never wanted to be around them or mess with them period. In all actuality, that’s the very reason that I SHOULD get accustomed to guns; for the harm they can cause, and protection they can give you. If/ when I’m ever put into a situation with a person that has a gun, I would much rather be the person causing the harm and protecting my family versus the other way around. I depend heavily on my husband for giving me that secured feeling, but there are going to be times that he’s just not there. I need to be able to protect myself, and to feel confident in doing that and knowing exactly how to handle a weapon. I think it’s time I go get that CWP that I’ve been pondering! Thanks for the article, Melissa! I found it very helpful and written so eloquently. I can tell it was written with knowledge and confidence in what you were saying. I’m proud of you!!!

  10. You’ve put into words exactly how I feel! Found the link to this on FB and I will be sharing!!!

  11. Such a great story, I can totally relate. I just can’t understand why anyone could think that placing more gun control laws could possiable help anything. Thanks for sharing this great story. And grandma…. thanks for the idea, I will be checking out my childrens schools too !

  12. Outstanding! Thank You for sharing & your support! Here outside Philladelphia the cities Mayor Nuttier has restricted pension support funds from local companies involved in any type of firearm/ ammunition production or sales that do not support /or fall into some “Sandyhook Agenda” Blackmail is what it is!! “Why should the taxpayers of Philladelphia support companies that promote “murder & maihem” (LOL) such terrible companies as Wal-Mart, Dick’s Sporting Goods, K-Mart ,Strum Ruger , Winchester ,Sears ext. ya! American Jobs Such Madness!

  13. Wonderfully written letter. Thanks for the time composing and issuing it. I just wish I could express myself as eloquently. I am forwarding your letter to my family members with children and grandchildren. Some of them are anti gun, hope this will change their minds.

    Keep up the good work.

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