So, I have had this thing on my forehead and I have been watching it grow for the past few months. Today I went to the doctor and she said here are the warning signs this is could be a problem…

 -A growth that increases in size

-Change in color

-Change in texture

-Irregular outline

-Bigger than the size of an eraser

-Appears after the age of 21

-A spot that itches, crusts or bleeds

-Sore that does not heal within 3 weeks

Of course, my little mark fits all of that, so she sends me over to dermatology because as she said  “We better that taken care of.”

But, dermatology says, we can not see you until May 16th. So, I am sitting here thinking I may have some kind of cancer growing on my face and no one can even look for 2 months. Here is where I need help. You people are brilliant and I know someone somewhere must have had something similar, so please tell me that on the chance it is some kind of skin cancer, 2 months is not gonna matter…

It’s not all that scary looking although it is a little darker red in real life. It used to be a flat, small, brown spot that didn’t itch or scab over.

Have I mentioned how much I dislike being over 40???

Evyl Robot is trying his hand at fiction. His plan it to post(on Mondays I think) a little sample of his writings on his blog for all of us to enjoy. If you haven’t been to his blog recently then so far you have only missed Part 1 and Part 2. Go get caught up before Part 3 is published. I am anxiously awaiting the next installment.

Tom McHale just released his book Insanely Practical Guide to Gun Holsters. You probably want to download today it from Amazon. It is full of great info. Plus it is pretty funny and for the next few days it is free!!

Apparently Lotta Joy also has a book coming out. She is a fabulous writer. Again, if you have not been to her blog you are missing out. She is smart, witty and fricken hilarious.

Lastly, if you would like to read an excerpt or two from the book I posted about yesterday, go here.

I stopped by Murphy’s Law’s blog where I read his take on ol Mark Kelly’s fabulous tale of why he bought an AR-15.

In the comments Paladin said…

“So he wanted to buy one to show how easy it is for a person who can legally own a gun to get one? Kind of seems pointless, but whatever. I think a better exercise would be for him to keep the gun and see how long it takes for it to make him transform into a murderous psychopath.”

That is a great idea. If the anti gun folks want to really prove a point they should all buy guns, wait and see how long it will take for the GUN to transform them into murderous psychopaths and then say “See, I told you so.”

 

I am sure the only thing keeping those folks from killing people is the fact that they have yet to purchase a firearm.

A while ago I was contacted by an author, D.C. Burns, who was looking for support for her new project. She asked me if I would be willing to let her post a little something about her book on the blog.

I don’t usually allow people to advertise on here anymore. When companies began asking me to review products for them I said sure, but most of what I got was not good, a huge waste of my time and it started to become a lot of work, so now I respectfully decline and only promote products I use and believe in(such as my AGirl Holster). My first thought when D.C. Burns contacted me was to say no. I would not promote a book I had not read, but…

I have been conversing back and forth with Ms. Burns and the book sounds intriguing to me. I like guns, I like positive portrayals of gun owners, I like a woman who does not remain a victim, I like a mystery and frankly I like D.C.

Here is what she has to say…

Hi, my name is D.C. Burns and along with my partner Mike White, we have put together a Kickstarter Project to accomplish a couple of things. We are both authors and sport shooters. We had been writing a co-authored book aimed toward the new and growing group of women shooters, which portrays the gun community in a realistic and positive light, when everything hit the fan because of Sandy Hook. Because of the fallout – meaning the sudden lunacy of the media and many politicians blaming the gun community for the crazy people – we decided to pick up the pace, finish the manuscript and publish it ourselves in ink on paper, in hardback. Old School. We also want to invite the gun community to participate in the book, become a part of it, by posting tips/advice/wisdom that will be published in a special section of the book called Straight Shootin’. We are grateful to A Girl and Her Gun, whose own life story is similar to the story of the main female character in the book, for allowing us to post this request for donations both of tips (if you wanna) and funds (if you can), to help us get this done. Printing, marketing and distributing are expensive.

Here is the Kickstarter link to the project: 

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/831114127/how-to-shoot-straight?ref=home_location 

Thanks and Good Shooting!

Even if you can not donate at this time(totally get money is tight for everyone), perhaps you could help spread the word. They have struggled a bit getting support and are hoping the mighty powerful blogging community might be willing to lend a hand. I am sure D.C. would be willing to answer any questions about the project.

to every one’s favorite pony aficionado, Erin

Erin recently wrote a post about having a hard day. We all have hard days, but those days are made even tougher when we let the bullies, the insensitive, the liars, the fakes, and the cowards get to us.

It is hard not to let them. Most are so skilled at being awful that they often have the upper hand.

When I first wrote my Open Letter post, I, for the first time received a ton of criticism and then after I broke my ribs, for the first time saw just plain meanness(I often use these 2 examples because they are the only two I have. I fortunately have not had a lot of meanness, so excuse the repetition). I was attacked not simple for training differently, but because it was easy. Being mean is extremely easy. I was called names, belittled  and picked on, but it was OK because it was snarky and funny and I write a blog, so fair game.

I surprised myself at how little those comments bothered me. I remember reading them and not being upset or hurt nor did I feel like crying. That was not my normal reaction to events like that. I am perpetually nice and caring and sensitive, but for the first time I truly did not give a flying flip. It felt good.

In the comments of Erin’s post was left this…

John Galt- “When you can say “Fuck The World” and mean it, you free yourself up to make REAL friends.

No, you won’t have many.  The concepts of honor, loyalty, empathy and all the others that make up a true friendship, have been drained out of most of the people in our crumbling society.  This, however, makes the friends you do find even more precious.”

I could not agree more and I don’t think one has to become hardened or mean in order to achieve that freedom. It isn’t so much how I treat people or how I prepare my heart against harm as it is convincing my mind that I am good enough and the opinion of so and so just doesn’t make one ounce of difference.

Ironically, reading Erin’s blog and the comments she left here and else where had a huge impact on my ability to do just that.

I envied her writing and her no-nonsense ability to be who she was/is. Many nights I would read the nastiness of someone else and have to fight the urge to feel bad or to change. Erin was one of the people I looked to and that example helped me have the courage to be more me. Not to be her or like her or like any of the other people I respected, but by their example be more comfortable with who I was. Who I am.

By the time the rib thing came up I just didn’t care at all what anyone thought..

Now real people still hurt. I had someone I respected and valued and trusted who turned out to be a fake and a liar. That stung, but only for a day or so because in the end how someone treats you says nothing about you and everything about him(or her).

I think these lessons(as I have written about them time and time again) are valuable ones not only to have better day to day lives, but certainty as it relates to self defense and our safety. Not worrying what other’s think about us carrying a gun or a knife or screaming when we feel threatened  Not worrying about being embarrassed. These are very common reasons why people allow themselves to be in more danger than they need to be and we need to get over it.

My wish for Erin on her birthday as well as for all of you, is that you find the courage to say screw um.

Have a beautiful day!!

This is about the 5th or 6th Giveaway that I have done in my short 2 years of blogging,(I missed my blogaversary somehow. It was a week or so ago) but this is first one where I decided to choose the recipient.

Normally people send in their name, I put the names in a hat(either real or electronic) and the name is drawn. That is a waaayyyyyy easier method.

If you are not aware, this time each person wanting a chance to get the gifts was required to write a short or not so short explanation of why she wanted the training and what it would mean to her.

The women who took the time to write their stories are quite an inspiration.The entries were varied from teachers, to stay at home mommies, to young women just starting out on their own. We had professionals who wanted to be safer on the job and those that were aging and felt a need to increase their odds of survival against a stronger enemy. Stories that made me cry and those that made me smile. Many that made me nod i agreement as I understood their fear and trepidation of taking that first step into the world of firearms. I had a very difficult time choosing, so difficult that I couldn’t do it. I was finally able to narrow the field down to 10 which took me all the way til yesterday to do. Then I sent those 10 onto a panel of 3 other folks. My husband, our very first giveaway winner and a newbie shooter. Those 3 sent me their top choices. All 3 of them picked the same top 4, but in a different orders, so I wrote each name on a piece of paper, put them in my Hoplorati hat and my daughter A, then choose a name. Very complicated system:)

What name did she choose you ask?????

Drum role please…

CONGRATULATIONS TO Ms. Lynda Duke!!!!!!!!

Lynda was gracious enough to allow me to share her story(as were the other 4 and I will be sharing their stories later in the week)

The other day I received an email from a reader asking me to write a blog listing the contents of my First Aid kit. I told her I would and post it on Sunday, but life being what it is I ran out of time yesterday, so here it is…

I have carried this exact red pouch for years and years. The contents have changed slightly as the needs of my family have, but the bag and most items have been a mainstay in my purse for as long as I can remember.

 

I have a small sewing kit, 4- 3×3 gauze pads, 4- 4×4 gauze pads, 4- insect repellent towelettes  25 band-aids in various sizes, liquid bandage, 15- alcohol prep pads, 4- after bite relief pads, an after bite relief stick, a small flashlight, 2- water purification tablets, a large safety pin, a roll of tape, a bottle of Advil, a bottle of Benadryl, tweezers, antibiotic cream, feminine hygiene products, 2- packets of Alka-Seltzer(my family’s cure all to most head ailments),5- iodine prep pads, some over the counter allergy tablets, some gloves, a lighter, small scissors and a wine opener. About 4 years ago I was caught in a dry county in Texas where I was able to score a bottle of wine on the downlow, but no one had a way to open it. Of course, we just jammed the cork into the bottle, but it taught me that I needed to added an opener to my kit:). I also have one in my glove compartment…you know just in case.

In my back pack/purse I also carry an EpiPen. I am deathly allergic to mango. I have it in the front pocket were it is easy to grab. I also carry an emergency inhaler as E and M have asthma. The two recent items that I added to my bag, but do not fit in the kit(and that I don’t necessarily have with me all the time like I do the red bag) are an Israeli pressure dressing and hand warmers. I am freezing all the time and being outside on a range or on the scene of accident they have helped me tremendously.

About a year ago my friend Ce sent me the list of items she keeps in her car. She calls it her “Get-Home” bag. In that bag I have a ton more stuff likes shoes and water, but that is another post.

 

After I was mugged and started attending training to courses to learn how to shoot my gun I hit an all time low in my healing.

In addition to E outing me(if you don’t know the details I apologize. I am not going go into that again right now) the constant comments I would hear in the classes was enough to send my already extremely weak and guilty mind right to the edge of sanity.

It went something like this…

Instructor: What does every bad guy need?

Class: Silence

Instructor: A victim

Then he/she would pull out a list of all the “stupid” things people do to make them prime targets and the full judgement of stupidity was not only implied it was out right stated. Laughs and jokes about how someone freezes in the face of an attack or doesn’t scream would ensue. Usually the instructor would set up a scene where the bad guy grabbed a woman(always a woman cuz men never freeze or find themselves in bad guy situations) and goes to shove her in her car and she does nothing.

At this point everyone is class would say things like , “Who would be so stupid?” “I would never.” “I would fight and scream.” They may very well have. Many people without a single second of training do fight back, but I didn’t, so there I sat being the poster child for the stupidest person on the planet and those experiences began to build in the fibers of my being and I began to see myself as pure filth. I began to blame not the crime, but my reaction to it. For a few months I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, I wasn’t sure how I was going to continue to live in it. I was never not once suicidal and I never not once engaged in any destructive behaviors, but I sure as hell felt like shit. I think that if you go back and read those old posts you can easily find the ones where I was falling apart and fighting everyday not to.

Kathy, who was one of the rare instructors(there were others) who did not do this which is probably why it was in her class that for the first time I complete broke-down in front of others and why my mind started to open up a little and let me see more of how things unfolded that day, wrote an excellent article on fear and freezing. READ IT!

In addition to my experiences in class, in my free time, desperate for information I read blogs by woman like Tam, Brigid, Roberta X and Lima. Strong, secure,no holds bare, not gonna take crap from anyone women who while inspirational only seemed to highlight, in my own mind, my weaknesses and failures. I felt completely ashamed and completely alone.

Let me add that I am not blaming any instructors or any person in the classes for sharing their feelings about how they believe they would or would not react or how stupid the victim is(although I tend to put the full blame of the crime on the criminal and not on the victim). People have every right to say what they think and feel and share in these classes AND I certainly do not blame other women for being strong. Good for them.Those qualities are to be admired and encouraged. I am simply trying to explain how and why I felt how I felt and how certain things were interpreted in my mind.

The mind isn’t always easy to understand.

Other people have shared their stories with me, but I was always kind of the support to them. I did a lot of listening and offering of the shoulder. I was honored and blessed by this and continue to be and there were healing aspects in doing that, but for whatever reason none of those stories were ones I related to. Over the year(It will be 2 years since I was mugged next month) I found ways to heal and to move forward, but there always was a place in my heart reserved for that ugly emotion of guilt. While not active that guilt became a part of my make up and I learned to deal with it or more accurately force it to stay in the background.

I have tried to say this a few times and I can’t find the words. I have sat down to write Lima personally, but my words sound off. I try and try, but all I can come up with is somehow reading her story touched some part in me and helped me feel less alone. That feeling of not being alone helped me heal in ways that nothing else had. I don’t know how to explain it. Our stories are not the same, we are not the same…but something in her words helped me and for that I am grateful.

I have said this before. Each time I write a post like this or like I did the other day I get the urge to pull it down, but I don’t because I hope that maybe there will be something in my words that helps someone else to feel a little less crappy. I can’t do much, but I can try to help add positively to someone else and so I continue to try.

P.S. Only a few more days to toss your name into the hat for the giveaway Thank you to everyone who has shared about it and to those of you who already took the leap of faith to email me your story.

 

“An important part of what we achieve through stress inoculation is
cognitive. The students experience in training helps to take some of the
surprise out it when the real situation arises. Effective training also
elevates the students sense of confidence, which is another cognitive aspect
of stress inoculation. The sense of personal effectiveness and
self-confidence created by realistic training is as much a stress reducer as
when the muscles go on autopilot. As the Duke of Wellington put it, No man
fears to do that which he knows he does well“. -Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, On
Combat

I read this quote this morning and I thought, yes, that pretty much wraps up my life’s motto. Not just in self defense. It applies to all areas of my life, but certainly I find great value in training and making that training as realistic as possible.

I train for so many reasons, but primarily because it builds confidence  The more I do and the better I do it the more I believe in myself and my ability to overcome in the face of danger.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to do much real life training in a while and that has had some affect on my confidence. I still do a lot to keep my skills up, but there is no substitute for putting yourself up against another person and testing one’s ability. When, lose or draw many valuable lessons are learned and each of those not only add to my abilities, but to my mind set.

People often think the mind controls us, but it only controls us if we let it. We can tell it what to do, what to think, what to believe and the more we tell it and back it up with our behavior the easier it is for the mind to respond the way we want it to.

In the face of a mortal threat, I want my mind to remain calm and clear and I can probably only achieve that if I practice it. I practice it by showing up when I am terrified to do so and by putting myself in situations where I am uncomfortable and have no real idea what is about to come my way. Of course I do it in the safest way possible, but knowing that I am “safe” gives little comfort as I stand there and prepare to get hit or kicked or knocked against a wall.

Sounds fun, no?

Funny thing. When I first started training my mind would be totally blank. I could not think. Sometimes I would just stand there and not shoot or punch. Then I could do whatever I was told to do, but nothing more, but now, I can not only think, but I can plan and do.

Here is the deal though…all this self defense stuff has helped me in my regular everyday non violent life. Remember yesterday when I talked about how after the attack I lost my confidence and was a mess at my NRA Cert class? Well, due to training my mind and forcing myself to be calm and to think things through, I gained much confidence back and for my EMT exam I was perfectly calm. I was able to control any nerves I might have normally had. I walked in without a single butterfly or fast breathing. I heard what was being said to me and I was able to access the patients and do what I knew to do. What I had trained to do.

EMT exams are not life threatening, but many people were paralyzed by their fears that night and were unable to perform(look Judy spelled it right:) and they did not pass. All of these little things like test taking, public speaking, making phone calls, taking risks, they add to our quality of life or take from it. Fear limits us so many times in our everyday average life. Being able to conquer it adds to a better quality even if one never ever has a bad guy encounter. Although, the skills come in might handy just in case one does have a bad guy encounter.

Wonder if my husband is in the mood to “fight”…

 

I am often asked what I carry and where I carry it. I have received a lot of those types of questions lately, so here is the quintessential post on EDC.

This is my 80% of the time daily carry setup.

I wear my M&P full size 9mm on my left hip in my custom made leather holster by Michael Hast.

If I wear a back up gun it is my S&W Shield in my custom made White Dog Holster. I wear it on my right hip.

Some people have questioned why I don’t carry my BUG on the same side as my primary gun. The reason is that I am tall and thin and I do not have much room to pack a lot of equipment and it is much easier for me to conceal another gun if it is on my right side. I am equally skilled shooter with my right as my left hand and I am afforded many opportunities to practice, so I feel very comfortable carrying a BUG on my non-dominate side.

I don’t carry a BUG everyday or even most days, but when I do, it is on the right side.

I also carry a TDI knife on my left side appendix. I used to carry it on the right side, but with the BUG, my other knife, and flashlight all on that side I was beginning to walk a little lopsided. Plus, in practice I am better at stabbing with my left hand. Do not ask me why the ambidextrous skill I seem to have with my gun has not translated to the edge weapon.

So, as I just stated I carry a second knife (sometimes a third:). I carry a Benchmade Griptillian in my right front pocket along with a Fenix flashlight.

I also have some pepper spray on my key chain and a small multi-tool that was a gift fro a dear friend.

You don’t want to know what I carry in my backpack. There might be another knife and a larger multi-tool, a Gerber that my husband carried in Iraq. He gave it t me and I use it all the time. I honestly do not know how I lived without one. Also I have a crap load of first aid supplies. Most all of the stuff in my backpack I have always carried even before I was mugged. I have always had a pretty comprehensive first aid kit. I did add a few other things because I spend a fair amount of time on a range and so an Israeli bandage really isn’t all that odd to have.

The biggest change isn’t what I carry, but how I carry it. I carry a backpack now instead of a purse. I used to put my purse in the cart when I went shopping, but I no longer do that. Even though I carry my money and ID on body now, I still do not like to have my purse laying around. With a purse and shopping I found that the purse would slide off my shoulder when I reached down to pick up something from a bottom shelf and it annoyed me. Also, if I carried my purse on the left side it wasn’t comfy because of my gun and on my right it made me nutty because I wasn’t used to having it on that side and I was forever adjusting it, so I switched.

I always have my cell phone and my lawyers number (in my phone, but also on a piece of paper tucked into my wallet that is carried on my body).

I included a pic of our family heading out for a shopping trip to Target.

Pretty normal right:)

***OK, that really isn’t our family and that really isn’t our town. It is an article about of friend of TSM’s. Thank you to the men and women who are currently serving our country and fighting the good fight.