My plan is to vote, go to the range, maybe buy some ammo and then hunker down in my house.

I was invited to an election party in DC and I really wanted to attend. I RSVP’d yes, but as the time nears, I have changed my mind.

The talk of civil unrest and riots is getting stronger and stronger and I just do not think it is a good idea to go to a neighborhood I don’t know, at night, in a place that not only disarms me, but also is where the current dude these nuts are claiming to rioting on behalf of lives.

In addition neither TSM nor I are comfortable leaving our kids. Of course we would be leaving them in very capable well armed arms, but it is our job to protect them and that is hard to do several miles a way.

I am hopefully that we will have a new president and that the process will go smoothly. The very idea that people are threatening this shows how far we have fallen. The uniquely cool thing about our system is a peaceful, free from harm election process. Agree or disagree the idea of harming someone for exercising  their Constitutional Right to participate in picking the leader of their country is pure insanity.

Again, I am hopefully that I am being over cautious by staying home and all will be well, but I am not taking any chances.

If you will be out and about you might want to read this and this.

“My entire life I have surrounded myself with people who were better than me so that I may use them as inspiration to better myself. I believe they were all warriors in their own way”.-Ernest Emerson

This is absolutely true for me. I have always pushed myself and wanted to be around the best, smartest, most talented folks, so I could grow and improve. I have been blessed with knowing a great deal of wonderful people who have over the years helped me become better at teaching, interpreting, leading…

I will admit that none have been more beneficial to me than those in the gun world. I am continually blown away by the intelligence and talent of the fine men and women I have had the honor of getting to know.

Last night Brigid introduced me, through his blog, to a friend of hers. Please take the time to read his words. I think it will be obvious that he is a person you will want to “surround” yourself with.

Inspired.

This morning I put on my Wounded Wear shirt, grabbed my retired Marine husband and headed to Marine Corps Base Quantico to buy my AR. We searched high and low and the base was the only place that had “my” gun. A few places couldn’t even order it, but one could. Ordering would mean I would have to wait and that just wasn’t gonna happen.

The moon and stars did indeed align for this purchase. No one was there. I walked right up to the counter and 2 very nice gentlemen were MORE than willing to help me.

The only problem was whatever it is about me that encourages folks to bond with me was working with one of the salesmen. He was so nice and he was chit chatting up a storm about his cats. He has 11. His wife and 4 daughters are big fans of felines and he has some characters in the group. I loved to hear his adventures as he was so excited to tell me, but part of me was like, dude, please either hush up or fill out my paperwork as you reminisce.

Anywho, I bought a Colt AR-15 6920 Law Enforcement. It’s a carbine. I decided to listen to my friend Tim and buy new. I was leaning toward the Smith & Wesson, but after looking and looking I fell in love with the Colt.

 

It was cool for me to buy my own gun with money I had earned. It was a bonus that it was earned helping John teach other people how to take positive decisive action in their own lives. My husband and I have been married since we were 20. We have been broke, I have made more money than him at times and we don’t separate our money. that isn’t the point. The money I make working for John isn’t really mine and, of course, I couldn’t have that pile of cash set aside if TSM didn’t pay for, you know, everything else. But he is kind and understood there was something about me making the money, picking out and buying my first rifle(technically he bought the Mosin). He stood at the end of the counter smiling bigger than anyone would think possible.

I also “accidentally” bought a Shield. There she was waiting and calling out to me, so I felt a duty to bring her home.

Now, who wants to help me name the rifle??? It feels male, but that might just be me.

I am very singularly focused. I can multi-task, but when learning I focus on the basics and then move on.  When I got my Glock all I wanted to do was learn to shoot it. I wanted to know it inside and out and know as best I could how to work it in the worst case senerio. I started shooting other guns as fun, but never really asked any questions about the guns set up. I have focused mostly on personal defense stories and ideas…ie situational awareness, other techniques like knife fighting and hand to hand stuff, but not so much on rifles or additional parts, accessories for pistols. For example I know some about night sights and flashlights etc, but I have never really researched them or given them any thought.

Last night I read on my personal FB page that this guy(you all know him) sent his gun off to Bowie Tactical for some work. I asked him what he had done and he listed off several things. These are carry guns not tricked out for fun or even compititon, althought I think he does use some in matches. Reading his update made me realize another gap in my knowledge.

Anyway, do you guys modify your carry guns?

I have done very little to my gun. Mostly because I don’t even know what one would do or why.

On my Smith & Wesson M & P, I changed the sights to Heinie and had the APEX trigger installed, but that is it. I did notice a huge difference in the trigger and the sights. Oh and I had the right side slide lock level removed. My grip is very high and sometimes my thumbs would hit that button causing the slide not to lock back when it was out-o-bullets.

The gun runs fine. Great actually. My shots are accurate, I have no trouble with the grip even in wet conditions, and I haven’t had a jam or malfunction in months, which why I haven’t questioned it, but I also thought the factory sights on my Glock were dandy until I shot with better ones.

I know what works for me is what works for me and that is what matters. I am not looking to make changes to my gun per se. I am just looking to expand my knowledge on what is out there and why you chose to or not to do certain things with your carry gun.

I have never been nervous about an election before. I have been passionate and I have been excited but never nervous.

i am not sure what I am nervous about exactly. The economy yes, our national security, of course. The continually decline is personal responsibility, absolutely, but there is something else.

i don’t really think we are tittering on an end of the world total collapse ledge if this guy gets re-elected. I think my glass is half full way of thinking and ignorance is probably playing into that.

I prepare just in case I am wrong, but I think I am more scared to live in a country where there isn’t a fight to the death, all out zombie attack. At least I would have a chance, maybe. To live like we are living now…loss of freedom after freedom makes me very uneasy.

Living with more and more intrusions: doctors asking questions they shouldn’t, cameras on every corner, the TSA, the police getting more and more aggressive, the courts disregarding the Constitution and individual rights…If you don’t pay attention it is easy to ignore these things, but eventually, it will be impossible too.

I am under no illusion about Romney. He is not my ideal pick, but I feel like with him at least I have more time. More time to either convince people(yes, I am dreaming here) a socialist government is not the way to go or I don’t know I just want more time.

When I say nervous, I don’t mean I cant sleep at night or am in a panic. There is only so much I can do and I believe regardless we will find a way, but when my kids ask me questions about their future, I get a little butterfly feeling in my stomach and it never goes away completely.

Either way, I can’t wait for Tuesday. At least we will know and I won’t have to listen to the annoying ads of Collin Powell telling my how this administration turned the economy around and saved the auto industry. Here’s a questions…how does that guy sleep at night?

Wow, remind me not to write a post when I am tired on this iPad. Last night’s post didn’t make any sense. I fixed it.

This iPad and Apple products in general work like Democrates. This stupid thing often decides for me what I mean and then without asking changes it. It corrects words that are not misspelled and many times it will change the word before the word I typed. I might type M likes and it will be changed to swim faster. Doesn’t start with the same letters, nothing was misspelled, the new phrase doesn’t fit, but what the heck let’s just mess with her.

I have enough trouble on my own thank you very much iPad.

Moving on.

A few days ago I shared a link to Kathy Jackson’s article on Awareness. It’s a very good article go read it.

I don’t want to talk about the specifics of her post. I want to talk about the comments that were left on my page after I shared.

My FB is small. 1200 people like it. Not a huge number, but I notice I get a lot of discussion both on that page and here, so when one guy and I were going back and forth about the degrees to which we are aware, it dawned on me that the anti gun people just are not paying attention to what us gun folks talk about.

Again, I will say I am not talking about Bloomberg or the Brady folks. I am never talking about them. I am talking about the anti gun people that twitter and use Facebook as a way to prove their points about the crazed gun nuts.

They pop on, leave a snarky comment and bolt. I do not think they read anything we say.

i can think of very few other things I devote more time, energy and effort into getting right. And by getting right, I mean mostly avoiding every having to use my gun. What other “sport” do you know where thousands and thousands  of hours goes into NOT using the main piece of sporting equipment?

Shooting is a sport for me. I do not compete, but shoot for fun a lot. I like it, but  that is not all it is. For me the main goal is learning how to use the tool effectively should I have to. And by have to I mean left no other choice, forced into by someone determined to do me harm.

As a crazed gun nut, I am more aware than I ever have been about where to be, where not to be, what to look for, when to leave, how to behave in non threatening ways(not that I ever behaved in threatening ways) and well pretty much calm cool and collected. Actually, not all that crazed.

As a note, crazed people do not make very good choices. Spraying bullets all over is not a good way to protect my life or those around me. Crazed is not a goal of ours, ever.

I spend more time learning how not to never use my gun then I do actually practicing to use it. I dry fire, I go to the range, I talk about better ways to shoot on the move or under a car often, but most every second of the day I am thinking about or doing something that will hopefully put me in a better position to not have to defend my life.

i am giving the bad guy every chance here. I avoid him and his mostly likely places, I don’t do anything to provoke him(yell at him, call him names, flip him off), I tell him in about a zillion non verbal ways…”Don’t pick me”. I even spend most days talking to and encouraging others to make changes to their lives, so they are less likely to have a bad guy encounter. Not looking for a fight is my point.

Anti gun folks…pay attention. Read the twitter feeds, blogs and Facebook pages. Yes, we think making jokes about killing zombies is a hoot and yes we really do like big guns that shoot a billion rounds for no other reason than its fun(got that, no other reason), but carrying a gun for self defense is just that.

For self defense.

I can’t think of one possible reason why anyone wouldn’t want me or anyone else to be able to do that.

 

 

Originally I thought after an AR “shopping” day  with M, I would write a fun post about the guns or  some cool  salesman or not, but it turns out the guns were the least cool thing about the day.

Many of you know that M has not been overly excited about shooting or dealing with the cruel realities of life. For 12 1/2 years she was raised by me and was not so fond of guns. I am blessed with kiddos that respect me and value my opinion. If I say something they listen and often follow that example.  That is good, but when one changes a stance, a stance they held strongly to, it is not so easy to accept the new view. Especially when that view is the polar opposite of what had been held.

As a mother I tried to balance my desperate desire to help her see the errors of my way and also understand her concerns, fears, and conditioning. It has been a struggle.

I have been very lucky that no one, not a single person has made me feel awful about the choices I made that day in the parking lot. Well, no one except the bully in my head. I have felt such sadness about E and then M. It is true there is no worse enemy than yourself (no disrespect to the Marines). I want M to get it, but as has been discussed here before, you can’t make someone feel a certain way.

I so wanted M to learn from my mistakes. To not find herself in a bad guy situation and not know what to do.  I wanted to show her how to at least be aware, but it was not something she was ready to face. She is a kid afterall.  She has been feeling a feeling I know all to well and finding a balance between “you will shoot” and not pushing too hard has been a daily struggle.

The odds of her getting in a sticky situation are low, but then I know odds are worthless and when it is your child, my child, how comforting are odds??

So, here I am saying you don’t have to like it, but you have to learn safety and basic self defense skills. My taking her to work and not pushing her to put the damn iPhone down. Me wanting to point out every crazed nut case in our town, but not wanting to scare my sweetie pie because a scared sweetie pie is not a secure sweetie pie. Me trying to be calm and patient, but wondering if the damage I have done is to insurmountable to undo.

I have few answers. I literally function by the seat of my pants when it comes to M and guns. I often wonder if I push too hard. If I don’t push hard enough.

She is this great kid, this great person. She is her mother’s child, though and she is stubbern.

On a whim today I asked my straight A, honor student, advanced class daughter what she had in school today. She said blah, blah, blah. Basically, she was ahead in A, B, and C, so I asked if she wanted to do “research” with me (aka shop AR’s). To my surprise she said yes.

After a full day of shopping we went to lunch. Over a salad she said, “I think I would like to shoot that .22.” “Those rifles scare me, but I want to get better with the pistol.”

Me- I have nothing going right now. Let’s go shoot.

M- I don’t like indoor ranges. Can I shoot with John?

Me- Of course, yes.

M- This weekend.

Me- Absolutely. Yes. Done.

Now, I hadn’t spoke with John and so I probably should have checked first, but my daughter asked to shoot and I needed to encourage her, so I crossed my fingers and said, “yep”.

John, without knowing any details beyond, “Can I bring M and can she shoot after the class?”, said yep.

It is the very first time that she, of her own free will, asked to shoot. I didn’t force or convince her. She wants to shoot. Not to please me or appease me but because she wants to learn more about how to protect herself.

There are no words.

I like to shoot, Ok, I love to shoot. If fun and pleasure were all this was about, M, would not hear a word from me, but that is a luxury I don’t have. Shooting is much more and it always will be.

There are long lasting effects from the choices we make. There is often no way to know or predict what those may be. I certainly had no clue, but today my daughter asked to shoot. Today, she took her own step forward. Today she decided she wanted to do something positive to ensure her own safety.

Today is a good day.

While we are on the subject of guns, I need an AR. For the past several months I have gone to gun shows to look for an AR and I have read blog after blog about someone building one. Each time I get excited and announce “I have to have one!

I don’t have one. I have come close a few times. But always chicken out.

My brain can only handle so much info and so far it has been occupied with handguns, knives, training up my kids, focusing on being a good instructor and EMT, but now that I have mastered those(funny right?), it is time to get serious about adding a rifle to my safe. Plus for Christmas I really want a rifle rack for Jayne and she would look silly if it was empty all the time.

I currently have saved up $1200, but after Sunday it will be more like $1600. I have always been a decide what I want, have TSM research it and then go buy it kind of gal. I am still her, but the idea of doing the research(that is where you all come in) and maybe building an AR has a ton of appeal to me. So far fear and indecision has plagued me.

In keeping with my mantra of not letting fear win and in a small tribute to my friend Guffaw who faced his own fear, I am jumping in with both feet. Today M and I are off to fondle a few AR’s and ask some questions, but I would love any input I can get from the group.

I am wondering how many of you carry Back Up Guns on a regular basis. I read an article over at Active Response Training the other day and it got me thinking.

I do not know Greg, but I have great respect for his expert opinions. I do not follow every thing he advises, however, I generally give his opinion more than a few seconds of consideration.

Here is my problem. I am 5′ 8.5″ and 119 lbs. I am tall and thin, although I am hippy. I carry a full size M&P, so with that, an extra mag, a flashlight, and a knife or two, I kind of run out of real estate. I like the full size gun due to its magazine capacity. Lots of bullets is a good thing.

I have thought about the gun jamming and considered a BUG, but never spent a great deal of serious time on it(I did try the Flashbang for a while, but I just didn’t like it) Now, I wondering if I should either gain 50 pounds to try to hide yet another tool or maybe carry a smaller primary gun to make room for a second gun. I don’t like the idea of carrying on my ankle because I wear mostly boots.

Thoughts????