Today I met my husband at the range to try out his new pistol and mine now that the slide lock has been removed.  Good times. Removing that tiny little piece made a huge difference in my shooting. I was able to grip the gun like I needed, like I had been used to before switching to the M&P.

Then we headed off to the Marine Corps Museum at Quantico. My family has gone several times, but I never was able to make any of those trips. I should have prioritized my time.  What an amazing place.

When I walked in the very first thing I saw on the wall was this…

I love helicopters. I always have. My dad loved airplanes and he took me and my brother to airports and airshows every chance he got. He loved the jets. I can not count the number of times I have seen the Blue Angles, good memories. Jets are awesome, but for me there is something about a helicopter. I can’t get enough of that sound. I like them all, but my very favorite is the UH 1 Huey.

This is the UH 1E. There is a plaque describing the heroic efforts of Captain Stephen W. Pless and his 3 man crew.  They rescued the crew of a downed U.S. Army Chinook in Vietnam.

This exhibit highlights the Battle of Chosin Reservoir.  We walked into a room where it was mighty cold.  We heard the sound of gun fire all around us as the sky lit up. These two are having a conversation. The Marine on the radio is calling in support and while the other Marine is trying to take care of the his wounds.  The guy on the radio says, “Hey, how bad is it?”  The other Marine says. “Ah, nothing more than a bee sting.”

My new favorite rifle. Number 10, the one in the middle.

My favorite exhibit was the one depicting The Battle of Belleau Wood.  The first part has a large map, but the map is digital.  I can’t quite describe the animation, but it was impressive how they were able to show the battle and how the advancing Marines didn’t fair so well in that part of the battle.  The next part has a large movie screen.  I stood there watching the battle when all of a sudden I heard some kind of explosion and then a blast of air came over my body. It’s to simulate the feeling of the blow back. 

I was absolutely fascinated by this display.

And of course, I have a thing for snipers.

I highly recommend a trip to see what the Marines have been up to for the past 237 years and if you give me a call.  I would gladly accompany you.

A while ago I wrote a post about my struggle to find “tactical” pants that were comfortable and functional.  It was loads of fun. After several weeks I finally did find a few pairs that work. More on that later, but for now, if you see this person as you are wondering around Culpeper Virginia…

My relaxed lets chat look

My hey lets head to the firing line look

it means that you have stumbled upon FPF Training and I am on the job, but if Skidmark asks, I was wearing a hat.

On the range this is what I actually would wear. Little to no make up, lots of sunscreen, my flash light, a utility knife(not shown. The hubs has it), boots, eyes(brand new eyes my hubby bought me), ears and of course, my gun.  If you look closely you can see the M&P tucked behind my left hip.

I am off for an extremely busy day.

P.S. I miss Broken Andy.

I think most people are aware that when I do a Give-A-Way I require nothing in return.  Nothing.  No one has to like my FB page or donate to my favorite cause or tell me they think I am wonderful.  They do not have to share their name or their story.  They are free to take the money and run, literally.  When people approach me and ask if they can contribute to a Give-A-Way I am doing or ask to fund one, the only parameter I place on them, is that this is a true gift. They can not ask anything from the winner/s.  As you know each person who has contributed a gift or money has come to me out of the goodness of their hearts and want nothing more than to remain in the background asking nothing in return.  They rock like that.

My goal has always been to give something back to a community(yes, I said community) that gave so much to me.  Similar to the military people in my life, that will be a life long venture.  I also do the Give-A-Ways because I want to do whatever I can, no matter how small, to contribute positively in the life of another.  If all goes well, part of that contribution will be that they are safer and more prepared.  That is the reward for me.  I know that is sappy and kitchy, but it’s true.  The level to how to true it is can not be expressed by me.  Every single time I do a Give-A-Way, I am astounded by the stories of the folks who win.  I am humbled continually that god(not capitalized on purpose) and the universe allow me to share in the lives of these women.

One of our latest winners, Karen, was gracious enough to share part of her story…I edited it a little for privacy.

My History with Guns

My junior year of high school, guns changed for me. My Aunt was in the middle of a divorce and it was actually a very positive move on her part – it should have been done years earlier. The two of them were supposed to sign divorce papers on Tuesday, April 11. However, on Sunday, April 9 – he came to her house, while her roommate had gone to the store. As for how he got there, we all have our suspicions – but no one actually knows for sure, because he did not drive there himself. To make a long, terrible story slightly shorter – I will skip to the end. He (my Uncle – I cringe calling him that) shot my Aunt in the temple at point blank range and killed her. She never had a chance. He also shot her roommate three times upon her return from the store. After a stand-off with police at a friend’s house (the friend was not involved in the shooting) he also killed himself. I did not a touch a gun after that for six years.

Overcoming that situation took a long time. It has been a long, hard road for everyone in my family and the community (my Aunt was well loved by many, many people). Two and a half years ago, I met my current boyfriend – K. He is amazing and has always been very supportive and patient with me when it comes to firearms. He and his family really enjoy handguns and love going to the range together. The first time he showed me his Mom’s handgun, I just looked at it. The next time the topic came up and he pulled it out of her case, I actually held it – but afterward, I cried. Eventually, I became more comfortable being around the guns and holding the guns. K will tell you – he never thought I would be where I am now. I completed my conceal carry class and have my permit (I will be picking it up tomorrow! Yay!), I own a gun, I shoot as often as I can and am in the process of building a range (slowly, but surely) on the family farm.

I know you were probably were not asking for all of this and if I over shared – I am sorry! I am proud of the progress I have made and proud of the person I have become. I left so much out of the story, simply because it is a lot to tell. I used to have a hard time sharing all of that, but I figured, people (women, especially) could learn from her story.

I shot several hand guns before I chose my S&W M&P. K and I went to the range and I rented gun after gun. The very first time I shot the M&P, I put all 12 rounds in the center red section of the target. K was impressed and I was infatuated with the gun! I bought my own only a few weeks later.

Thanks so much! Also, if you have any words of wisdom – I am always eager to learn! 

I giggled when she said she was sorry if she over shared.  I wrote back and said “Have you read my blog?” “I am the queen of rambling and sharing.”…lol

I also told her she had ever right to proud of how far she has come.  I think she is quite remarkable.

On Tuesday I met Arete in the park for the first training of any kind that I have had in over a month.  Felt so good to be active.  When I say active I mean not sitting at home on my butt.  There was no impact anything, no hitting(really), no grabbing or wrestling around(my personal favorite).  My ribs let me know they were there, but I was not in pain.

I would say Tuesday was a tiny little set back mentally speaking.  I am very confident in my skills with my gun and also with my ability to get away and gain some distance from a bad guy if he grabs me, but knives are a whole new ball game.

If I am fighting with Arete and he hits me, its a hit, no big deal.  If he throws a punch and I block it, then that is the end of that one hit. Not so with a knife. If he comes at me with a knife, even if I block his wrist and he does not stab my body, he can still drag the blade down my arm as his arm gets pushed away.  If I block a punch down, then he can still slice-up my legs which he did continually.

This is the top of my left thigh.  We used completely dull plastic training knives.  No edge at all, this did not hurt me a single bit.  It’s from the repetition of being “sliced” in the same spot.

Sometimes he would just go to my legs because they were there, but several times he sliced my leg as his hand went down from a block or from me moving.  It pretty much felt like whatever I did, I got “cut”.  My hand, my arm, my leg, my throat, my stomach…if it had been a real fight, I would have been thoroughly Kung-Fu’d.

Extremely frustrating.  I spiraled into a complete mess in about 30 minutes.  Remember earlier when I said in order to survive one can not concentrate on surviving or on not getting hurt?  Yeah, that would have been useful information to recall. The more he sliced me the more I just kept trying not to get sliced.  I was not thinking at all about being aggressive and I was not relying on any kind of instinct, I was concentrating on how I could avoid that blade.

When I say I was a complete mess, I don’t mean I cried or threw some kind of fit. I was just mentally very frustrated. The more frustrated I got the less effective I was which made me more frustrated and soon all that doubt I said I never have, came creeping back in.  For the first time in 15 months, I said, “I can’t do this.”  “I can’t win against someone with a knife.”

It is also the first time Arete has ever become annoyed with me and he gave me a bit of a “pep” talk. There was something about being a victim and getting myself killed and while he didn’t yell or even cuss, his voice was different than I had ever heard it before. I would have preferred he just hit me:) After that was over, he reminded me to stop thinking and to trust myself and to do everything I have been doing all along with all my other training.  Things got much better after that.  I was able to avoid getting stabbed as often and I let myself look for opportunities where I could could strike and not just sit back and try to defend. Still a very sober exercise.

We spent maybe another 25 minutes working on those drill and he walked me through a few  more scenarios. I am still the question gal and I am always looking for ways this training would apply in a real life situation. What if this? What if that?  I ask, he shows me, we practice it. No matter what we did.  No matter how fast or how slow, more times than not some part of my body ended up on the wrong side of the blade. If ever I doubted(and I never have) that avoiding a knife fight is a darn fine idea, I sure got the message on Tuesday.

All in all it was good.

As we walked back to the car he told me to do something.  I can’t remember what, but it wasn’t a request.  He said, “Do blah, blah, blah.”

Me- Your kind of bossy.

A- Cuz you need it.

Me- Wha..

A- Go ahead tell me I’m wrong? What? Huh? Can’t hear you?

I just smile.  He smiles back.

I get in the car and call my husband.  I tell him pretty much what I just told you.  He is laughing a little to exuberantly if you ask me. He thinks it is funny Arete gets pissy with me.  I think my husband is living vicariously through Arete…

The winners of the Give-A-Way are…

Prize number one is- #88

Prize number two is-#72

CONGRATULATIONS to you both!!!!!!!!

Please contact me by leaving a comment and/or sending me an email [email protected]

Thank you to everyone who took a step forward and entered this Give-A-Way.  I hope that even if you didn’t win you will not let that stop you from getting the training that you need/desire.  Let me know if I can help in someway.

I am finally going to get around to taking my M&P to Robb at Virginia Arms to get some work done on it.  I am so used to carrying my Glock, set up for a right hand-er that I can’t get used to the M&P being set up for a lefty.  My grip is very high up on the slide and more times than not that grip interferes with the workings of the slide lock, so that is coming off.  I can very easily use my left hand to lock the slide back.  I am also going to get new sites put on.  Very excited about this.  I have been putting it off for way to long.  Also gonna take the hubby’s brand spankin new M&P(he got at the gun show this past Saturday) in for new sites and APEX parts.

My wedding anniversary is in August.  Every year my husband tries to plan a trip for us to get away and every year we have to cancel.  The first few years is was because the adopted kiddos were not ready for us to leave them and other various issues.  However, this year we are going to get the heck out of dodge.  The man that I adore thought I would enjoy a weekend of shooting as a gift.  He reads the blog.  He knows I am kind of into shooting.  So, yesterday when he read Active Response Training’s daily blurb and saw this, he sent off a check.  He spoils me. My man, guns, learning, contributing to a cause…pure perfection.

Which leads me to my next point.  You know how I love military folks and I love to give things and I love to support other people in their very cool ventures?  Here is one I am crazy excited about being a part of.  Our very own and most fabulous gun holster making guy has a new project. Love. This.  It always sounds very self indulgent when I tell people where I donate my money.  Until this blog, I always gave anonymously, but I feel very strongly that if I promote something or ask you to consider giving your money to it, that you know I put my own hard earn money where my mouth is or where my blog post is.  I wouldn’t put something on the blog I didn’t believe enough in to pay for myself or donate to.  So, yes, I am not only posting about this en-devour of Micheal’s, I am also contributing financially to support it. 

Last but not least, I am working this weekend at FPF Training, so you know what that means…I Love My Life Monday post is coming.

The other day I was at the pool waiting for my kids to get done with swim team practice and I was answering some emails.  A friend looked over my shoulder and said, “Wow, that is a lot of emails”.  Then she asked me what kinds of things people say and what was the number one question asked of me.

The number one question asked of me is why I carry the gun I carry. To long to answer in this post.  I wrote a post on it before, but can’t find it.  I guess I need to start organizing this thing better.

The second question asked is how do I get my wife, mother, whoever to move on past their bad guy experience. The answer usually depends on what other information they choose to include, but most of the time I refrain from advice giving and just offer an ear and encouragement.

I recently got an email from a person asking me if there is anything I don’t share on the blog and what might surprise people to know about me.

I have written about it before, but, yes of course there are tons of things I don’t share on the blog.  This blog is a snippet of my life and it is easy to think because I primarily write about gun/self defense things that is my entire life.  It isn’t.  I would say that is probably the thing that would surprise people the most, my life isn’t all guns all the time.

If you come to my house you might not even know we own guns.  We don’t have a deer head hanging on the wall(although I really hope to someday)  We only have one decoration related to guns and it is the sign that you see on the side bar.  90% of my day is talking about swim team, volleyball, teenage girls and teenage boys.  Answering questions like mom can you take me here.  Mom can I do this or that.  Mom, why can’t I do this or that?

Last night’s dinner conversation revolved around our daughter’s upcoming birthday and her plans to go to Disneyland where all the princesses will shower her with gifts.  It is worth noting we are not going to Disneyland for her birthday and we have been telling her that for a month, but the girl is relentless in her efforts to change our minds.  Stubborn and tenacious, that one.  She gets it from her dad.

Having said that, if I read a book it is in fact going to be about guns, self defense, military that kind of thing, but I rarely get a chance to read. I am currently hopping back and forth between 3 books that I desperately want to finish. If I watch a movie it will be some kind of historical war movie or something else action packed, but again, that doesn’t happen often. Still not finished watching Band Of Brothers. If I have a free afternoon it will be spent shooting or the like.  If I have a choice about how to spend my time it will be in the gun/self defense realm because it is what I do now as a job and it is where my interests lie, but my kids, house, etc decide how I spend the majority of my time.

What else about me might surprise people…probably nothing. Would have to think about that a bit longer.

The other question/s I get fairly often, and this surprises me, is why doesn’t John or my husband have a nickname on the blog like Arete and do I call Arete, Arete in real life.  First, no I have never called him Arete except on the blog and once in a text message as a joke. I call him by his name.

Generally, I only give people a nickname if they do not want to be identified on the blog.  Mr. & Mrs. Awesome are the exception. They didn’t mind being identified, but they are too awesome and really needed to be referred to as such.  Interesting enough, both John and I do refer to them as that in real life.  I know their names, but anytime I talk about them or to them, I say something like “Oh, hey the Awesome’s are here”. The other day my husband said, “Babe, can you contact Mrs. Awesome and ask her a questions about blah, blah, blah.  John will also say, “Had dinner with Mr. & Mrs. Awesome”(I am still waiting for an invite)  Some things just stick.

As for John,  I first started writing about him almost as soon as I started writing the blog.  I wrote a post about my training and how incredible it was, so I used his name which is all over the internet anyway.  I wasn’t trying to promote his company(like I am now:), but it made sense to tell people who I took the course from.  When I first started writing about Arete, I asked him can I say this, can I say that. He told me, I could say he was a sniper, a Marine, an MMA fighter, but nothing else and that included his name.  I had to call him something other than, that sniper/Marine/MMA fighter guy.  Arete was the most fitting name I could think of for him, although a few others come to mind since. My husband does not have a nickname because I am proud that he is my husband and I like calling him that.  I love being married to him and in real life I often call him Mr. insert-our-last-name.  Lets say our last name is Smith.  I might say something like “Good morning, Mr. Smith.”  or “Thank you so much Mr. Smith”  I can’t do that here, so I say my husband instead cuz you know, he is mine:).  A tid bit of info for ya, outside of the blog no one calls me AGirl, but I do have a nickname that all of my family and friends call me except John and Arete.  They both call me by my actual given name, which isn’t my given name at all.

Interesting stuff, huh…

This weekend I got my daily email update from Active Response Training and in it was a link to Tony Blauer’s Ten Commandments of Street Survival.  If you have been around the gun/self defense world a while you likely have seen it, if you are relatively new maybe not.  Either way it’s worth a look.

You will be shocked, shocked, shocked to learn, I have a lot to say on this article, but because I am a merciful kind of gal, I will not share my every thought.

His first commandment is Thou Shall Not Not Train. He says this about training…
Upon reflection you realized that you lost this fight for several reasons:

1. Your actual understanding of the theories of “intuitive radar”, “attacker profiles”, “sucker punch psychology” and “fear management” were limited.
2. Actually, you never did “sucker punch” drills.
3. You had never done “threshold and pain tolerance training” or
4. Worked on “ballistic ground fighting” and
5. You never analyzed natural stances.

I think I have made it pretty clear how I feel about training.  All kinds of training to include “sucker punch” and “threshold and pain tolerance” drills, so we will just move past that one except, quickly to the folks that might be new here, I am a fan of that kind of training.  I find it very valuable.

The second point, Thou Shall Not Defeat Thyself says this…

II-  THOU SHALT NOT DEFEAT THYSELF
The mental side of combat is so vast and powerful that it quite literally determines your next move.  Dan Millman wrote, “When faced with just one opponent and you oppose yourself… you’re outnumbered.” Powerful words.  Your mind can be your ally or your most formidable opponent.  Your thoughts can motivate you or they can create the inertia State of psycho-physical paralysis.
Psychological fear leads to doubt and hesitation.  Unchecked it can devolve into anxiety and panic.  Unsolicited, a ‘Victim’s vocabulary’ starts: What if I lose?  What if it hurts?  What if I fail?  Thoughts like these must be eliminated from your vocabulary for you to perform at your peak.  Your ‘self talk’ or ‘internal dialogue’ must be positive, assertive and motivating.  Your inner coach must empower you to greater heights, to surpass preconceived limitations, to boldly go where… you get the picture.  That is what it means to not defeat yourself.

This has become a huge new way of thinking for me.  I had never seen this article before Saturday, but he is not the only one to espouse this mindset training and the importance of it.  I have heard it again and again and I have incorporated it into the fabric of my being.  Of course, it’s why some people think I am getting a little cocky.  

“What if I lose” is not a part of my thinking, ever.  I will look at different scenarios and play them out in my head or in discussions with others and try to think of ways I am not yet as prepared as I would like to be.  That helps me know where I can focus more, but me losing, that never crosses my mind.  Some people might hear that and think I am delusional or I am not looking at things realistically or that I come across too confident, not so.  That thinking is what will save my life, at least partly.  Just like training with my gun or knives, it is paramount that I train my mind.  I must believe to my core that I can overcome and the only way to do that is to eliminate any and all self doubt.  That takes practice folks.  It takes conscious effort to stop thinking like a victim.

Commandment III is very closely related to number II, worth the read, but I will skip to IV.

Commandment IV has become my mantra.

Thou Shall Not Fear Fear…

Cus D’Amato, a famous boxing coach, said, “The difference between the hero and the coward is what they do with their fear.”  The next time you feel it – fight it.  Challenge your fear.  Attack your fear.  Do not fear fear. 

I do not let myself be afraid of anything and the more afraid of something I am, the more I force myself to do it.  I think a great paradox of surviving is that in order to survive I can’t be afraid to not to.  If I am so focused on not surviving or on not getting hurt, I am too afraid to do what I need to do. The more I resolve myself to fight and not be afraid, the better chance I have to survive.  In facing things I am afraid of  I learn how to be calm in the face of adversity, how to overcome, how to survive.  Most attacks happen fast and there isn’t a whole lot of time for thinking things through(that is where the other types of practice come in), but there are times when a clear head to think is going to come in handy. In my case, had I had a clear head, had I not been so afraid and so resolved not to fight, I am positive I could have avoided the entire attack. It was the bad guys fault, 100%, I hold no blame, but since bad guys are bad and there are no signs of them letting up, it is most beneficial to learn how to deal with them. Had I had the mindset I have now, he never would have got my money, he never would have me to the ground, he would not have become a permanent part of my life story. Fear did not serve me well that day, but it taught me a very valuable lesson. Fear is not helpful beyond the point of alerting us to a danger. 

I practice conquering fear everyday.  It doesn’t matter if the fear is small like making phone calls or something bigger like getting hit. As ridiculous as it sounds picking up the phone to make those calls has helped me deal with my more ominous fears. We all have “little” fear we struggle with.  Things we know can’t harm us and yet we can’t bring ourselves to do them.  I have found each “little” fear I face helps me gain experience and confidence to face the bigger fears. The reverse is true as well.  The more big fears I face the easier it is to deal with the little ones.  Making a phone call isn’t all that hard after you have broken your ribs fighting a male Marine/MMA fighter. Life works in tandem like that.

Training my mind and controlling my fears is paramount to my survival.  Not just in a life or death situation, but in simply living a more peaceful content life. For me it is important that I step up and force myself to deal with the things that scare me until I am no longer ruled by them.

I am heading back to train with Arete this week…I am not afraid.  I am not afraid.  I am not afraid:)

***For my more concerned readers, I am not really afraid to go back to training. Even though I am anxious to jump right back in, Arete is not gonna let me.

A- So this next week.  No rolling around for a wee bit longer.  Just some drills okay?

Me- Yeah, yeah, yeah…

A- Don’t give me hell. Your still healing jackbutt.

Remember how I said I was going to start calling people in order to get over my “fear” of the phone?

The process has not been an entirely positive experience.

I wrote a post a week or so ago and in the comments this conversation took place…

Broken AndyJune 19, 2012 2:07 PM

Are you gonna be texting people too?ReplyDelete
Replies

agirlandhergunJune 19, 2012 2:41 PM

Well, I have heard from MSgt B your texting is epic, but I would need a number:)Delete

Broken AndyJune 19, 2012 2:47 PM

Inbound. Check your email.

About 2 seconds later I did get an email from Broken Andy.  The title of the email was “Fire Away”  in the body of the email was simply a phone number xxx-xxx-xxxx

I immediately send a quick text that said  “Is it just me MSgt B or is blogger acting strange?”  That was a take on a text conversation that Broken Andy had with MSgt B.  MSgt B posted their little exchange on his site a while back.  So, anyway we chit chat for a bit.

A few days later MSgt B leaves me a comment about calling him.  I ignore it, really I was just busy, but a few days later he says it again in the comments of another post, so I finally email him and tell him I don’t have his number.  He says I do because we have been texting. If you know MSgt B then you know he is whitty, funny, and a joker.  So since I know he and I have never texted I just go with it and a few emails of hilarious banter are exchanged.  At one point though he sends a email with my actual phone number in the body of an email. Now this is getting interesting. I am a tiny bit perplexed.  I rack my brain and can’t think of when I gave him my number. I search old emails.  I go back and check the email with the phone number xxx-xxx-xxxx to be sure it was from Broken Andy and not MSgt B.  All is good there.  Eventually I give up and decide we must have exchanged numbers at the blog shoot several months back.  No biggie.

Fast forward to this weekend, we are all getting together again, so MSgt B tells me to call him to work out the details.  Again, he insists I have his number.  Now, starting to think I have lost my mind and getting more than a little frustrated I texted Broken Andy and said…

“Please for the love of God give me MSgt B’s phone number (or something to that effect). The next day, I get a text from the number xxx-xxx-xxxx that reads…

“This is MSgt B you big goob, call me.”

I am now beginning to think that Broken Andy and MSgt B are the same person.  Even though they have 2 different names, 2 different blogs, and I have spent time with both of them at the same time, still, the thought crosses my mind.

I call the number and do in fact speak with MSgt B.  We mostly talk about the weather.  The actual weather because our state was hit by a nasty storm, trees down, power out, blah, blah.  When we hang up, I am so confused and lost, I email Broken Andy or at least who I think is Broken Andy…

Me- xxx-xxx-xxxx not your number???

BA- No, that is MSgt B’s number.  Mine is zzz-zzz-zzzz

Me- Yes, I know.  Why did you give me MSgt B’s number?

BA- Can’t remember. Hope it didn’t cause too much trouble.

Me- Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thank goodness I never texted “Broken Andy” what I really think of MSgt B…that could have been embarrassing.