I Am Asking For Your Help

It has come to my attention that I am in no way a perv. I have lived under the false assumption for years now that I was. It has been a somewhat painful and totally embarrassing, public realization, but after hanging with you all, it is obvious I can no longer continue in my delusional state.

My earlier post was meant to showcase my stellar fighting skills and was not my attempt to share with the world foreplay with my husband. The first version on the post included a statement about how, had Arete been present, he would have been proud of me. Sure, take a moment to visualize that threesome. Apparently, God had mercy on me and must have quietly nudged me to remove it.

I read that post so many times and I got nothing risque from it. My only attempt at any sexual innuendo was the “I am extremely fond of his groin area”. I was so blind to the nature of my writing I let me 13 year old read it and thankfully, public school has not corrupted her mind completely because all I got was “Eww, gross.” “Who says groin?”

I feel confident that I am in the right environment to cure my problem of clean thinking and I’m hopeful that my conversion will be a quick one because I am getting tired of accidentally sticking my clean thoughts into your filthy minds.

Feel free to email me “educational” material that you think might be helpful.  Pictures are appreciated.

**My husband’s says he would appreciate it more if no actual pictures were sent:)

37 thoughts on “I Am Asking For Your Help

  1. Nah, you wouldn’t be YOU if you changed! Just let the rest of the pervs think what they want. (I DO have to admit, that post made me giggle a little bit too, so I will include myself in the perv list)

    • Always got my back. Thanks! I actually found that interesting, especially the points on piracy of videos. I am proud to say I think I got most of those jokes.

      Even though I don’t actually watch porn, really, I do have to agree that smell-a-vision would not be a good technological advance for that particular industry.

  2. Hmmm…I think some people are just more naturally “gifted” (pervy pun fully intended) with a higher sex-drive and less severely restricting moral upbringing (or we’ve managed to shed quite a bit of that moral upbringing along the way), which then allows us to automatically *tweak* conversations (overheard/red) or images to see the dirty side. Its like sitting in a locker room, except the room is full of the voices in your head. Some got it, some don’t….but, as Gracie said, that’s what makes us all different and unique, and just be yourself! Cuz once you go down that path….to quote Weerd…madness! (butt its a fun madness, all the voices in your head know you and accept you for who you were!)

    Really, its more about allowing yourself to see the potty-humor in things. Quick comebacks (cumbacks?) and instantly twisting things just takes practice.

    Ah, heck with all that philosophical stuff. C’mon over to the Dirty Side! (we got nookie….er….cootie…..er….cookies!)

  3. Good Lord, you don’t know what you’re asking for with this crowd.

    I would suggest not clicking on anything with the world “jar” in the title.

  4. I have GOT to stop reading your posts at school! I have too many kids asking “Why is Mrs. Tea making snorting noises for?” I might get in trouble! 😀

  5. It’s obvious to me that I’ve gotten old and soft, ‘cuz I don’t see a thing to get sexcited about in that, or other posts.
    Wait- you were talking about Glocks and S&Ws one time, and then…
    …and no comments about bein’ soft ‘cuz my Honey thinks I’m hard! 😉

  6. I follow your blog, but I don’t think I have ever commented. I just never thought I had anything of value to add. I don’t see how any normal human could get anything pervy out of your post. I thought it was sweet and very funny — I did actually LOL. Don’t let them get to you, you are OK, they are not.

  7. Oh my, Agirl. Getting an education on the internet? Lol. My moral compass always seems to point south or maybe it’s just broken.

  8. This is YOUR blog. Post what you want, absorb what you like, and disregard the rest. There will always be “the 10 percent.”

    • Steve, thank you!! I was serious that I am not as pervy as previously thought, but I was just being silly and they were being silly back. Thanks for standing up for me though:)

  9. It’s OK, AGirl, I had a friend in college who was equally innocent. She was dating my girlfriend’s (now wife) best friend and we were out at a burger joint one night enjoying some shakes.

    She innocently asked “Who want’s my cherry?”

    I lost it.

  10. If anyone seriously had a problem with what you wrote, which I took as harmless fun, they shouldn’t be reading blogs, anyway!
    Keep on keepin’ on!

  11. I wouldn’t worry too much… except that some mall-ninja somewhere has now started a training course in tactical tickling… it’s a one day – or night – course for only $295.00…

    Dann in Ohio

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