Not my favorite kind, but still feels pretty good. In this case really, really good.

We are now officially up to 1000 rounds for the Give-A-way.

A THOUSAND ROUNDS!

This winner is one fortunate lady.

Pay attention all who have entered…look at the number of people who are willing to invest in you and your well being.

Remarkable!

These are some absolutely remarkable people.

A huge thank you to The Calm Gun who is donating 250 rounds and the Old NFO who is donating 200 more!

Tomorrow, I will link both their blogs and add them to the side bar Give-A-way post.

Also, The Calm Gun has a podcast. I am still learning how to do this techy stuff, but if you goggle him, you will find his channel(is it called a channel??). Again, tomorrow when I am at an actual computer I will figure out how to link it directly, but I was so excited to let you all know, I had to type up a quick post.

Thank you so much to all the women who have enterd. I am so excited to see how many of you are taking that first step(or next step) to more more control, more security, more freedom.

I love all the stories you are sharing with me. Thank you for letting me, us, be a small part of your journey.

I had a somewhat low key day where I only needed to do a few of this and that around the house, so instead of doing the this and that I really should have been doing, I played on the computer.

I tried to visit all the blogs of the folks that follow A Girl, but I got side tracked clicking on different blogs on their pages and it spiraled out of control.

I read and clicked and typed and now my eyes are completely bugging out.

It was not a wasted day though. Much was gained.

What I learned…

There are some seriously funny cleaver people out in the blog world. Might have peed my pants a time or two. Sometimes from laughing. Sometimes just because I was to lazy to get up.

There are some seriously smart knowledgable folks out there. I have about 4000 more questions to ask, so I hope Weer’d, JD and the rest of you have cleared your schedules for the next cople of weeks, we have some work to do.

There are some seriously dilugional peeps out there. Some of whom make me glad I carry a gun. Thinking about getting a bigger one.

All in all, not a bad day.

Now that I am seriously in a good mood, but feeling not so smart and a little scared, I am getting off this computer, grabbing some wine and hanging with the populous that reside in my home.

I am very behind on blog reading.  There are so many good blogs and I took 2 weeks off from the computer, so catching up has taken some time.

Anyway…

I stopped over at Weer’d Beard’s blog to look around cuz it is always educational for me or at least mildly humorous and sometimes even down right hysterical. 

Anyway…

I came across a post he wrote on December 29th.

Love it!

Since I am, in fact, against violence AND against people who do nothing to stop it AND am for people and actions that do try to stop it AND since I think he has a great idea, I am going to join in on his effort.

How about you?

 *UPDATE*  I changed the dates.  There is no reason we need to wait until March for the drawing.  I picked March because that was the month on the one year mark, but who cares.  30 days is plenty of time and I think there are actually a lot of good courses that take place in March, so it will run from yesterday January 3rd, 2012 to February 3, 2012 at midnight.  The drawing will be on February 4, 2012.

Last month I started talking to my husband about wanting to do something positive and encouraging for the women out there that might be like me.

Women, who for whatever reason are looking for a way to help themselves.

So as we approach the one year mark of the event that literally changed my life, I have decided to have a Give-A-Way. 

And it is just that, a Give_A-Way.  There is nothing for you to do.  You don’t have to give any money to my favorite charity, or like me on FaceBook, or even let me blog about your training(although I would really love it, if you do).  It is just my gift to one of you.

I have been very blessed by this community and I have been very blessed by the training and support I have received, so what better gift can I give a woman, than the gift of freedom.

The freedom that comes from knowing she can defend herself.
I think we all know that simply taking one class won’t necessarily do that, but it’s a start.

As I said in my last post, “Good guys don’t always win, but together I think we can up the odds”.

I would like to help one woman up the odds, so if you are interested keep reading…

Here are the details…

The prize:

I will pay $300 towards any reputable beginning self defense shooting course in the United States.

Who Can Enter:

Any female 21 years of age or older who is interested in taking the next step in learning how to defend herself in the event that she may need to. I would really prefer it be a new shooter that hasn’t had any formal training to this point.

How To Enter:

Leave a comment specifically saying you would like to enter or email me at [email protected] subject Give-A-Way.

This will run from January 3, 2012- February 3, 2012 at midnight and must be redeemed by September 2012.

On February 4, 2012, I will put the names into a “hat” and pick one.  That person will have until September 2012 to register for a class and when she does, I will send the $300 to the school/course/instructor.

It can not be redeemed for cash and can not be used for any other purpose.  If the winner does not register for a course by September 2012, the prize will be forfeited and the drawing will be redone with the remaining names.

I would appreciate you’re help in spreading the word. I think there in only one official entry right now, so the odds of winning are pretty darn good.

I am very excited about this and you all will be doing me a huge FAVOR, if you let me be a part of doing something positive for you!

A few weeks ago, someone in passing made the statement to me that this blogging thing and joy I found in shooting was a result of the bad guy encounter and, in a way, I was kind of lucky.

It made me grumpy, but I didn’t plan on spending any time on it, so ignored it and  just moved on.

Then last week, I was exchanging emails with someone who said, I am sorry for all that has happened, but I am glad you came through it. She meant it to be supportive and it was. Made me smile, but my answer to her was, I give the bad guy no credit, but…I went on to say, well it is important. That was between us.

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about that first person and more and more it annoys me, so I decided to address it here.

The statement made upset me on a lot of levels.  It implied that a bad person did me a favor and it implies that other people who have never been mugged are not as lucky and those that have had much worse are what, even more lucky than me???

Regardless of what has happened since I was mugged, that event was not a lucky one. It was not a good one in any shape or form.

I would love to say I laughed in the face of death, but I didn’t. I still don’t.

If part of this guys motivation was to scare me, he succeeded.

I hate that.

I hate that he got any kind of thrill from what he did, but I would be lying if I said that I was anything other than deeply traumatized, however, for him, it’s a short lived thrill.

And the credit goes to me.

Not me alone. As I have said many, many times my family, my friends and this community helped me find my way back, stronger and better and that is good, but it shouldn’t have happened.

The truth is, if there were no bad guys, I could walk around in a stupor of joy and security. It wouldn’t matter if I were in condition yellow or red. It wouldn’t make a flying flippin’ bit of difference if I knew  what double action or single action is and shooting could be nothing more than an incredibly fun sport for me.

No credit is deserved for forcing me to find a way to fight my way back to my life.

I liked my life before. I miss it sometimes. I miss the innocents I had. I miss sound nights of sleep. I sleep peacefully, but not as soundly as before. I miss going into a restaurant and having a glass of wine. I miss my blind belief that people really are good and the world is safe.

But, it is what it is and, the good news…

I love my life now.

It is most certainly different, but I feel better about who I am.

There is a certain satisfaction in facing adversity and coming through it. I would guess my husband didn’t think in less than a year I would be here.

Happy. Calm. Confident. Determined. Free.

That was not my personality. I was a delicate little flower or so I thought.

It turns out, I am pretty tough and I am not easily knocked down.

I can take a punch.

It will knock me down and it will sting, but it will not destroy me.

The credit goes to me, my choices, my spirit, my support system.

The bad guy did a bad thing. There is not one ounce of good in that. Not one bit of positive spin can go to him. Not one tiny little nugget of luck.

Every good and wonderful thing that has happened since that day is not luck.

It took hard work and effort to not let the bad take over the good and with some grace from my Creator and the gifts He brought me, a whole heck of a lot of good has transpired in my life and I am grateful for that, but it was not luck.

I am not lucky. 

I am blessed. 

I am fortunate. 

I have been planning a special treat for a few months that I was going to announce next month, but this post has inspired me to do it today.

As I approach the one year mark of that day, I wanted to do something positive.

The truth is I really do not dwell on that day anymore. I can talk about it without crying and without fear. It is a memory, but it is not a powerful one.

As you all know I give an enormous amount of credit for that to my conceal carry class and instructor, so I want to give that gift to another woman.

I am giving away a basic self defense shooting course to one woman.

You don’t have to do anything to get it.

You don’t have to like me on FaceBook.

You don’t have to donate to my favorite charity.

All you have to do is make a commitment to your own life that says I will not let the bad guys win. I will do everything in my power to fight. I will do everything I can to get over a bad guy encounter or, even better, prevent one from every happening.

So, if you are a woman, a new shooter who has yet to take a basic course, then all you have to do it leave a comment and I will enter your name in the drawing.

If your a man and you want to enter on behalf of a special lady in your life, that is fine.

I will except names until February 3rd, 2012(edited to reflect new deadline)and the winner will have until September 2012 to register for a course. I am putting a 6 month time limit because I want someone who is serious about going to a training. It is to easy to have good intentions and never get it done.

I will pay, from my own pocket, $300 toward any reputable beginners self defense shooting course in the United States.

I am not rich. We are a single income household and I have lots of my own shooting courses I would like to attend, but I am so committed to helping other women fight for their lives, that I am willing to put some of my own on hold and pay for one of yours.

Good guys don’t always win, but together I think we can up the odds.

My 8 year old daughter loves to shoot.  For her birthday last year she asked for a pink gun and she got one,  a Thompson .22, pink camo rifle.  I have posted about it before.  Today she asked to go shooting, so my husband said, sure, let’s go.

To our surprise our 13 year old asked to go along.  If you have been reading my blog long you already know she is not a big fan of guns.  She no longer hates them or is against them, in fact, she is quite the advocate for people shooting, just not her.

She is just plain afraid.

We have taken the slow and easy approach.  Lots of very relaxed education.  We do not spend every waking moment talking about guns.  In our house it really is just a part of our day.  I brush my teeth, I shower, I eat breakfast, I carry a gun.  I don’t spend anytime pointing those things out on a daily basis.  It just is what I do.

At the dinner table she talks about making the volleyball team or winning class president and I talk about my day at the range.  It is just a natural discussion as we share our lives.

We don’t tell her people who don’t shoot are stupid or weak or cowards and we don’t pressure her.

We are, however, honest with her about how we feel about her responsibility to face her fears and to take seriously her responsibility to take care of herself.

Our relationship is honest and we love her and are gentle, but we don’t lie and we don’t sugar coat.

My desire for her to learn to handle a gun is not a secret to her.

If I go to the range I ask her to come and most of the time the answer is no thank you, but a few times it has been sure.

This had been the first time she asked to go.

I was thrilled for her and wished I was going too.

While they were there my husband took pictures and texted them to me.  I was so excited that she was there, shooting!!

When she got home she showed me her targets and then ran off to do teenage things.

A while later she came up to me, hugged me and very quietly asked me if I was proud of her for shooting and if I thought she did well.

I told her I was very proud and that I thought she shot wonderfully, but I told her the thing I was most proud of was that she faced her fear.

Every time she shoots, she tells us she is scared and every time after she leaves, she says she isn’t that fond of it, but she hasn’t given up.  She goes and she shoots.

After dinner she asked to see what people were saying about her on my FB page and she thought it was cool people were saying nice things.  Thanks for doing that.  You all made a new shooter feel special.

Then she said, “Mom, I really like Minnie Mo’s gun.” “The more I shot, the more relaxed I was and I started to have fun.” “I was scared, but dad is so good at walking me through it and plus he pushed me a little.”  “I think I need to be pushed.”

Those words echoed inside my head and I fought back tears.

She was raised to hate guns.

She was raised to be afraid.

She was raised be nice, too nice.

She is being raised to love herself.

She is being raised to fight.

She is facing her fears.

and, today,

She shoots.

Like mother, like daughter.

One of the best most unexpected things about blogging has been the people I have met. Just a very, very cool thing!!

One of the people that I have “met” through blogging emailed me a few weeks ago. She has been following me almost from the beginning. She leaves comments here and on my FB page and has just been sweet, sweet, sweet to me.

Over the past week or so, we have exchanged a few emails and in the course of our back and forth, I, of course, asked her how she came to be a woman with a gun.

I am fascinated by how different we all are and how we are all not so different at all.  Her story is a neat one and so, of course,  I asked her if she would let me share it on this blog.

Graciously she agreed and sent me the story with some really great pictures.  

I had planned to share her story today, but last night she sent me an email with some exciting news…she is starting her own blog!!! I am so excited for her and to welcome her to the fold.

Sooooo, instead of posting her story here, I am going to send you all to her new blog!

Go read her gun story and maybe leave a little love to encourage her on her new blogging path!

This is going to be a great year!

I usually refrain from make grand declarations in the positive because it seems like every time I do, life finds a way to humble me, BUT, in an effort to let the outward me represent the new inward me, I am being bold today!

It is only January 2 and I have already been to a gun show, made plans to do some shopping this month for some gun goodies, I am going to training in Febuary, it looks like I wil have ample opportunities to hit the range and my husband and I might be going to an Appleseed event with several other bloggers!!!!

There are a few problems with the last one, like it requires riffles and I don’t have one, but someone is working on that and hopefully it will all work out.

Last year was a year with much sadness and emotional difficulty, but much was learned and many wonderful things happened, to include all of you. Many of you who took the time to leave a comment, reach out to me, offer advice, support and comfort. I am sure no one viewed their actions as extraordinary, but to me they were. They truly made huge impact on me and on my ability to move forward. It was a gift I didn’t ask for(the very best kind) but one I treasure daily. With all sincerity and appreciation, THANK YOU!

I am so looking forward to chatting with all of you. Visiting your blogs and sharing this exciting year together!

For Christmas, my friend bought me Boston’s Gun Bible and I finally had the chance to sit down and read a bit.

I skipped the first two chapters that, I will, of course, get back to, but I have been pretty obsessed with the whole sheep, sheepdog kind of thinking that is very prevelant in the gun world.

Chapter 3 piqued my interest in this area.

Not too far into the chapter he, the author, Boston T Party, declares there are only 3 kinds of people: predators, prey, and those who refuse to be either.

He says that if you do not have the will or training to defend yourself, then you are, by default prey.

I agree that if you know the facts and the dangers and you willing decide to do nothing to make yourself less of a victim and/or do nothing to defend yourself in the event that you are in danger, then you are prey.

It’s not an opinion, it is fact. Bad guy after bad guy will tell you, they look for unprepared, defenseless people to “prey” on.

I was the perfect prey, but it was not that I decided not to prepare. I truly did not believe that I needed to. Well, believe is to strong a word. I didn’t think about it at all. I bought into both the liberal propaganda and the religious rhetoric. Be a good person, don’t go into “bad” areas, lock your doors, pray and you will safe.

I was never ever afraid to go to a grocery store in the middle of the day.

While I might have been prey, there was no conscious choice to be prey. Granted, there was no conscious choice not be prey either, but I didn’t say, “Hey, this is dangerous, but I am going to do it anyway and leave it up to some “sheepdog” to save me.

The author, says, in order to avoid being pray, you must embrace the warrior spirit.

Now, that I can buy.

He says, as I have said, and as many others have said, “At some point in our lives, we all must fight.”

It may not be a bad guy coming after you demanding money or your body, it may be cancer or other hardships, but regardless, at some point we all have to decide our life has value and consciously decide to fight for it.

Unfortunately, too many people live in a state of true ignorance and by the time the wolf comes knocking at their door, they are completely unprepared.

That was me. Once I knew the facts. Once I was staring the predator in the face and could no longer live in that dangerous state of bliss, I had a choice to make.

Being a victim was easy. Sticking my head in the sand and doing nothing takes no effort at all and there is an odd kind of security in living that lie.

Facing my fears and not turning away, took effort and work.

Lying in my husband’s arms crying was easy.

Miserable.

Torturous.

Limiting, but comfortable.

There is comfort in what we know. As awful as the status quo is, change or the idea of it, is more awful.

It is often said, “The first step is the hardest.”

A lie.

The first step was hard, but no where near as gut wreaching as the second or the third, which almost killed me.

Second guessing your choices can be a bear.

Once I decided to fight, I felt relief and thought it’s over now. The fear and pain will be over, but they weren’t.

Sure, there were moments of peace and I felt good about moving forward, but the fear and doubt kept coming back, again and again.

The daily struggle to continue to face those demons sucked, and I can’t count the number of times I almost gave up.

Not giving up, that was the hardest step. Probably about 100 steps before, I no longer felt afraid, ashamed, guilty.

About a million before I could say, without an ounce of trepidation,

I will fight and you will lose,

and to believe it.

When I read…

“Mothers defending their offspring can exhibit terrifying ferociousness, but they must be trained to become ferocious when protecting themselves.”

I actually lost my breath for a minute.

That about sums it up for me.

The old me.

I wonder what would have happened if my daughter wasn’t with me that day. I bought some time by doing things to distract the guy while I tried to get her to a safe place. I never one time thought about myself. In fact, for weeks, she was the only thing I thought of.

I wonder, if I had been alone, if I would have bothered to fight at all or if I would have just given up the second he approached me.

I instinctively knew she was worth every effort to protect, although I was totally unprepared, I didn’t just hand her over to the creep. I didn’t have to be taught that she was worth my life.

What I had to be taught was that “he” was NOT worth MINE.

I am not sure if I am a sheepdog or a warrior. I don’t know if any label fit me before or if any of them fit me now.

What I do know is that I no longer have to be taught to be ferocious.

I am on vacation with my family and I am not suppose to be on the blogs or FaceBook and pretty soon I will be too busy hanging with everywhere to be, but I got an email from a friend this morning and I wanted to share.

My friend, let’s call her Mary, forwarded me an email to a basic pistol course. I sent back a reply you should go since we had yet another bank robbery yesterday and a convicted murderer is running around town, envading the police.

She returned an email saying “where?”

Me- “our town” and said, “don’t you read the newspaper?”.

Her- “no, to depressing and scary”.

She looks up the info and says “interesting”.

I said, “yes, interesting in a girl needs to know how to protect herself kind of way”.

She recently lost 100lbs and she said, well when I was bigger I never worried about that, who wants to move that kind of weight, but now maybe I need to think about it.

My response was bad guys don’t think like that and your life has always had value.

Now to be fair, I think she was partially joking, but I think she was also partially serious.

Let me say this lady has always been beautiful and weight is not the determining factor for anybody.

But, lets be clear, rape and other crimes against women are not about beauty. They are acts of violance. They are committed by bad guys and all of us are at equal risk.

Regardless of size, we all matter equally. All of our lives are worth fighting for and defending.

The bad guy is looking for money, power, control, the thrill of harming, and how we look has nothing to do with it. He does not see you or me has a person with worth, so you and I darn well better.

You matter. Whatever your flaws or mine, whatever we think we maybe lacking, we are valuable and you better face the fact that world is ugly and if you don’t make up your mind to fight, you are at a higher risk. Not of being attacked, but of losing if you do.

There are lots of people who can help you prepare, but you have to look in the mirror and say, “Not today” “I am to valuable and you picked the wrong girl cuz, I will fight you til one of us is dead if I have to, but rest assured it’s not going to be me.”

I love you Mary and I hope you decide to fight.