The other day on Facebook (I know I spend entirely too much time there) I posted a blog post by a man who was defending his photograph of a young girl with a gun. In the comment section of my FB page someone left this…
“The best way to get to these kind of people is to give them no validation. Just hit delete and block for email like that as it makes their day to get you to respond no matter how negative the response”.
That comment was left by a person who comments a lot on my page and is always friendly and insightful. I was not upset or offended by his reply. I am sure he was offering it with the best intentions.
My response to him was…
“In general I agree. That is what I do 99% of the time, but occasionally there is an email, comment, post that warrants a response. Never for the original sender, but maybe for my own need to rebuke it or to try to effect others that read such dribble and could benefit from an alternate view point…”
I have never been very good at standing up for myself, but I have been trying to learn to do that. I have no desire to become involved in a constant battle with everyone who disagrees with me or pokes at me looking for a response, but sometimes regardless of the person”s original intent, I need to stand up against it. Sometimes it is for me to maybe just show myself, no I will not allow this.
Kathy Jackson wrote…
“It really is a form of social bullying, when someone tries to make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about something important to you. Appeasing bullies never really works; it just tends to make them bolder and more insistent. So it will take some social bravery to face down the bullies and hold onto the gains we’ve made in recent years.”
It is bullying.
Now, I realize if I write a blog and put myself and my story out there I subject myself to a certain amount of potential harmful comments. I accept that and I really do believe people have a right to be heard, but there is a difference from not agreeing with me or pointing out an error and just being mean, cruel, and hateful. When someone posts a comment or writes on their blog something either untrue or mean just because, well that is bullying and it’s wrong.
Kathy also writes…
“Stories are always powerful. If you have a story of your own, be brave enough to share it with others, to whatever level of detail you’re comfortable…”
Stories are powerful and my story has impacted some. It is why I continue to bring it up or share it, because I was naive and unprepared and it cost me. It cost me a lot and if I can help in anyway, someone avoiding my situation or something much worse then I want to do that.
Her post says what I have been feeling. Go read the whole post. She offers a very good perspective!
You BOTH have a lot to offer… and my take the intarwebz are very easy to ‘bully’ people on, since there is virtually NO chance of an actual face to face confrontation (unless certain people get involved)… You are not the first woman blogger to be bullied and you won’t be the last, but I know you WILL stand up to them. Hang in there Lady!
Thanks Old NFO. I haven’t really been bullied very often and rarely does it bother me. But, I am learning that sometimes being the bigger “man” doesn’t mean walking away.
Don’t take no guff!!!
🙂
You can’t ignore a bully. They won’t allow it. But I’ve stopped stooping to their level. I’ve never won a battle of wits when I’m covered in mud, and they actually prefer it.
Good grief no. I don’t believe I have stooped to their level. The article I post on FB by the other blogger was not stooping. He was calm, articulate, and factual. Will it change the original emailers mind, doubtful, but still it needed to be said.
Your right though, bullies never get it.