As promised

The riveting post…

So we are sitting there waiting for the Monday night preseason football game to start when an older gentleman walks by. I see him out of the corner of my eye, but I don’t turn to look at him until the second time he walks by. The second time something catches my attention. That something was flames.

There are 2 guys and a gal sitting at the table next to ours. I hear one of the guys say, “ummmmmmmm”, so I turn and look at him. He continues, “Did that guy’s wallet just catch on fire?”

By the time I turn back around the man with the flames has moved on. He was wondering around the restaurant opening his wallet and displaying his affection for pyrotechnics. He was either very drunk or a tad bit crazy or maybe both.

An hour or so later he comes by again. This time he is standing fairly close to me on my right side, but he is talking to the guy at the other table. The guy at the table wasn’t sure how to take him because this dude starts opening and closing his wallet again and again, flames shooting out and he is rambling something about one dollar bills and twenties. Dude at table looks to me for help, so I make some comment about how neato that was. At this point it is fairly obvious the guy is more than a tad bit crazy. He is full on whack-a(that’s my kids word). He is harmless except for the flames near all the beer, but you know, basically harmless. The man at the table and I humor the old guy for a while with ideal chit chat and polite smiles. The man was mighty proud of his skills and his ability to keep his wife away from his money. He didn’t speak clearly due to the he was crazy thing, so I missed much of what he said, but he enjoyed the attention. It was worth the 60 seconds of my time. When he left the man at the other table looked at me smiled, I gave him a wink and that was that. The only real issue was I think if the old guy had taken one more step closer to me my husband would have tackled him to the ground. Maybe not tackled, but stood up and encouraged him to move along. For some reason my hubby doesn’t like crazy drunk guys with flames standing that close to me.

Now for my mouth watering Ham Croquettes. If you don’t know, a ham croquette is a ball of ooey gooey deliciousness. I looooooooove them, but they take time to make and are not healthy, so we rarely have them. You saw my nachos, so you know I am not committed to healthy eating 100% of the time, but I like to balance out my glutton with things that will hopefully slow down the effects of the other crap I put into my body. That means from time to time I take unhealthy things and  lighten them up.

My plan was to use lean sandwich type ham instead of hunks of fresh fatty ham, part skim milk mozzarella cheese, herbs and bake them instead of fry. My husband can’t eat anything with gluten in it, so I had to substitute the flour with something he could consume. Non wheat based flour mixtures are very fine and do not do much for holding things together, so I opted for corn meal. It is a little coarser and I hoped would had a nice flavor. I didn’t know how much corn meal it would take to bind everything, so I mixed all the other ingredients first and then little by little added the corn meal.

See those little black specks? Yeah, those are not fennel seeds…those are bugs. That was an almost brand new bag of corn meal and it was crawling with bugs. CRAP was my first thought. My second thought was and it was only for a split second, well,10 seconds, 30 tops…”Can I keep the bugs in and call it survivalist training?”

Since it was the last item added and I didn’t not think my family would appreciate the extra ingredient I tossed the whole thing down the drain. It was now 6:30pm, I had completely lost my appetite and was no longer interested in whipping up anything, so…

I made my husband brots.

My kids frozen fish sticks which are never ever in my house. And I had this.

Kids ate in their PJ’s. They didn’t seem to mind.

Yesterday when I alluded to this post it was pre-the-text from my husband telling me he had invited someone for dinner. That someone is coming tonight. I am hopeful he does not read this blog post, well ever, but at least until after he leaves my house.

23 thoughts on “As promised

  1. “For some reason my hubby doesn’t like crazy drunk guys with flames standing that close to me.”

    He’s crazy for you that way!

    And the bugs… would have been extra protein!

    • He is indeed crazy for me that way. I’m guessing no matter how skilled I become at self defense I am still gonna have a very protective husband.

  2. Maybe you could have sifted a couple of cups worth of cornmeal through a wire-mesh strainer?

  3. Well worth the wait, and still laughing! +1 with Broken Andy. Wonder if it was flash paper in the whack-a’s wallet?

    Ah,bugs. Gotta love it (eeewww). If the guest is reading or already read your post, why then, just hand the guest a double-double of your entree above. Julia Child would approve!

    • Ha! Julia would approve. The guest is a beer drinker, so I picked up a few kinds that were suggested to me;)

  4. Yup….bugs = protein. And…..they really have little flavor….the weevil bugs that is. For chocolate sprinkles one can also use black ants…..ok, ok…..I will quit now so I don’t get banned…..

  5. Bugs are gluten-free, so there wouldn’t have been any problems. And as stated, they’re a high source of protein! Some of them have a bitter taste, but from your photo, those are probably of the milder variety, a quick crunch, a hint of almond flavor, and that’s about it.

    Flaming wallet….man, I dunno where to even go with that one! LOL

    • Gluten-free that is very good information to know. That might help me sell the idea do eating them to the fam.

  6. If you serve live bugs, maybe your guest will leave early, lol…..Just teasing!!! But it may get him to leave, lol
    A thought, this morning when I went to make coffee and turned the faucet on a spider jumped from our sink at me (apparently he came in from outside during the night and got stuck in the sink and couldn’t get out), I can send you this big spider. I caught him in a jar so my husband could identify it.
    On a serious not, your recipe sounds really good for Ham Croquettes. I might have to try it.

  7. LOL, corn meal ‘does’ tend to have issues at times… if the spots are not moving, don’t worry about it… 🙂

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