One of my problems is that I know what it is like to hurt, to feel unloved, awkward, unsure and so I try very, very hard not to ever make anyone feel that way. Sometimes I get so concerned about how they might feel if I do A or B that I end up doing nothing. This is not a I want them to like me, so I won’t say I like guns things. It isn’t about trying to fit in or get them to like me, it’s more I want to say I love you, but I don’t want you to get creeped-out or think now you have to tell me something you don’t feel thing.
After my brother killed himself I vowed to tell people I care about that I care about them regardless of how they felt about it. Not my family. My husband and I are annoyingly sticky sweet to each other and our kids, but others not so much. So, I promised to hug more and say the words more. And for a long while I did, but after that pesky March ordeal I became more withdrawn in talking and touching. I didn’t even realize to the extent it had happened until last night when I wanted to say “Love Ya” to a person I truly care for, but didn’t.
This morning I was reading a post by Shepherd K on The GunDiva’s blog and I thought, yeah, I should have just said it. I should have just had the courage to say, I don’t care if this make you uncomfortable, if something happened to you or me, I would feel awful that I didn’t tell you.
I am off to look someone in the eyes and say I love you.
**Edit** I should have been more clear. I have a hard time saying I love you the first time first…lol. If you are my friend and I have said I love you it’s not hard for me and I do mean it, so get off my back Angie. You know I love ya:)
I’ve come to realize that loving more than you are loved is both rewarding and comes at great personal risk…however, both are necessary for growth as a human being.
Yes, it is hard to love someone that either doesn’t love you back or can’t tell you that they do, but if your lucky they show you in others ways.
Terribly sorry about such a loss. It’s a shame that so many people still dont acknowledge mental illness, and pass it off as merely about “choice.” Nobody, given any other alternative in their own minds, wants to take their own life.
Go for it.
You may not get another chance.
EVERYBODY!
I told him. I was nauseous for 30 minutes, but I told him:)
And I know you know of what you speak. Hugs my friend.
Thank you.
You’re very kind.
A Girl, thanks for the link. I’m glad my post helped in some way.
You are welcome.
With me not being the touchy-feely type, it’s good we’ve got Shepherd K around, isn’t it?
Thanks for the link (AGirl) and for the great post (Shepherd K).