Breaking news here folks…no one can mess you up more than you can mess yourself up or maybe it’s just me.
Occasionally in the past few months I have let other people get into my head and once that happens I am incapable of processing information. It becomes like a very intense ping pong game inside my head.
Ping:You are this or that.
Pong:No you are no this or that.
Ping:Yes you are this or that.
For a while now, I have been crystal clear on where I stand. My beliefs are not so much beliefs anymore as much as they are actually who I am. The thoughts are woven so tightly into the fibers of my mind that I don’t think it’s me, it is me. I have stopped thinking and instead just conducted myself from that place inside me that has become who I am. No second guessing. No analyzing. Just being.
The problem isn’t that I don’t know who I am or what I am capable of, the problem is when I start putting more stock into what someone else says is true of me rather than holding fast to what I know is true of me. When I allow that to happen, I start to override my own beliefs in favor of theirs and a very ugly internal battle ensues.
No big deal. Lesson learned…again. I am back to my calm, cool, collected, very self-aware self. All is, once again, good to go in AGirlland.