This weekend I have the honor of volunteering at a local gun show.  I will be sitting at a table for an organization that promotes and advocates for gun rights in my state. 

I have always volunteered and done what ever I could to support the different causes I believe in.  I think it is important to be heard and to fight for what one values.  In all the changes that have taken place in my life of late, this passion to do, is not one of them.  This has always been a part of who I am.

I am so excited because I love gun shows.  I love everything about them.  The smell, the crowds, the humidity, the beef jerky, the rows and rows of guns, the bumper stickers I would never put on my car, but buy anyway and the people…I love the people, every single one of them.  The Rednecks, the yuppies, the old timers, and all of the little kids running around!!

I texted my hubby to see if my volunteering this weekend would interfere with any of his plans and he said nope, go for it.

Then he said and I quote:

“Never in a million years, would this thought have ever run through my mind:)  You working a gun show.  Crazy, but crazy good.”

Yep, I have changed.

I have only been to 2 gun shows in my entire life, but I am hooked.  If you want to read about my first gun show experience go Here and Here 

The whole experience was a hoot.  I saw this sign and thought is was hilarious because I used to live in California and I thought, it was because they are so liberal and goofy. 

Shows how little I knew about any issue related to guns.  The real joke is that they are liberal and goofy, which means they are very un-gun-friendly.

I actually loved living in California.  I lived in a more conservative part of the state and I didn’t carry at the time, so the issues that concern me now, didn’t then. Lots of gun folks do not like California, but it has many wonderful things about it.  The ocean and the mountains…stunning  I am in love with Big Bear.  Camping in the Redwoods leaves me speechless every time.  The weather is gorgeous and the food is amazing!  I was teaching college back then and I loved to teach. I loved my students.  I loved getting to see their minds working.  I miss it.  It was a very happy time in my life.

We left California after the death of my brother.  Not because of it, but after he died, the Marines sent us here.  It was a bumpy few years and this place has never felt like home, but after 7 years of building relationships and watching my kid’s roots begin to grow and get deeper here along with my new passion for guns, I am beginning to feel my neck turning a slight shade of red and as much as I keep trying to get out of here, I am not sure I could leave.

Hopefully, I will have lots to tell you about after I volunteer.

As the numbers of readers increase, so do the number of questions I get.  I have been surprised by how many of the questions are more about me than anything related to guns, but then maybe that is why you all read.  We share a love of people.

I have wrestled a bit with how to address these questions.  After tossing around a few ideas I came up with “Whatcha Wanna Know Wednesday”  If I get a question that I think might be of interest to someone else, I will write a post about it. I am the question girl and I have been so lucky to be able to ask lots of people lots of lots of people and they have all been very kind to answer, so I am happy to do the same.

This weeks question is Do I Always Carry My Gun and if not Where Do I Keep It When I Am Not Carrying?

I have actually started  half a dozen posts on this topic, but I can never quite say what I am looking to say.  My first post was a kind of “Day In The Life Of”.  I wanted to describe a typical day of a girl, that’s me, who carries, but I don’t really have a typically day, so I ended up explaining and explaining and explaining. I had so many asides that it wasn’t clear what the post was about, so I scrapped it.

I also struggle with how much to tell.  Where is the line between informing someone who is curious and sharing to much? Not sure I will ever know that answer, but it is good to be aware of the question regardless.

The past few weeks the question has been asked a couple different times by a few different people, so I will try again.

Here it goes…

I do not carry everyday, everywhere, 24/7.  When I first bought my gun, I did.  I carried it everywhere and if I could not carry, I did not go.

This was mainly because I was terrified, but it was also because the people teaching me about guns, said carry, all the time.  I respect them and I did not trust myself, so I did what was most often recommended.

For me though, I started to have some internal conflicts about always having my gun and I started to feel controlled by it, instead of empowered. As I tried to sort out my fears and not give into paranoia, I had several issues come up.  I wrote about some of them Here.  So, in trying to find that balance, I have chosen to sometimes not be armed.

This is not to say that those who choose to carry everyday, everywhere are paranoid.  It is to say with my background and my personality and my schema, it is how my brain interpreted my circumstances.

One of the greatest gifts I have been giving is that I have been surrounded by gun folks who have given me the freedom and permission to do what is comfortable for me, mainly because they are so darn comfortable with who they are and the choices they make for their lives.  I am grateful for this.

When and how often I carry, I am not gonna tell you.

For 2 reasons:

First, I don’t think it is a good idea to tell the whole world or the 5 people who read this blog exactly when I am carry and when I am not.

Second, because it doesn’t matter.  I have learned so much from so many wonderful people that have been open and honest and shared and shared and answered all my many questions, and offered me all their insights, which have helped me to form my ideas and opinions about what is best for me and my family.  At the end of the day, one has to do what one feels comfortable doing.  Taking the time to figure out for yourself, what you can live with and what you are not willing to live with, is always the answer.

I will tell you, that I am with my gun more times than I am not.  I prefer that if I am with my husband we are both armed.  He is clearly the better shot and has much more experience in stressful situations, but still I don’t want to be left without a gun and I truly believe I can help take care of any bad guy that comes around.  However, there are time when just he carries or just I carry.  Again the specifics are not important.

As for the house, if my gun is not on me, then it is very easily accessible.  I struggle with this one the most because my house is my safe haven.  I love nothing more than to be home with family and friends hanging out, and keeping it as safe as humanly possible is paramount.  Therefore, I am not all that hip on giving the bad guy a blueprint to where my weapons are. 

I do, however, know what it is like to honestly want to do the right thing , but not having a flying flippin’ clue how to do that?  That is probably why I got asked this question.  People are looking for answers to things they struggle with.  There are blogs, articles, books, people you can hire, courses you can take(I am gonna take one soon) out there that discuss home security in much detail and, of course, they know what they are talking about.  This is not me.  I am not giving advice or suggestions.  I know many things, home security is not one of them, but I will share with you some of what we do.

I think the ideal at home is the same as when out and about. Wear the gun, all the time. But just as gun laws often fall short, so do I from time to time.
 
Wearing my gun all the time at home really isn’t feasible for me.  I have young kids and we wrestle around, we build extensive tunnels and crawl through them, we have massive water balloon fights that evolve into full on garden hose warfare.  I often have 2 or 3 kiddos piled on top of me to watch a movie or read a book and a Glock on my hip just isn’t conducive to my lifestyle at home with 3 small kids.  I have 5 children all together, but my daughter is 13 and my son is 20.  Neither of them sit on my lap anymore, although occasionally when I am feeling sentimental about my son being all grown up I sit on his and make him watch old VCR tapes of when he was a baby.

For those times I am at home, but chose not to have my gun on my person, what do I do??

Without giving to much away, We do have a system. While I am not sure our system is all the special, I will say that for us, consistency is important.   I always put my gun in the same spot down stairs and the same spot upstairs.  The handle is always in the same direction and it is always in the same condition.  Conditioning mean 1, 2, 3, or 4   I know I have a few people who read this blog that are like me and still learning the verbage associated with guns and a few of my friends who are like I was and are totally clueless, so for them I will explain a little.  When guns are in different states of “ready” they are either in Condition 4 or Condition 1 or somewhere in between.  I think this article does a great job of explaining it in plain easy to understand English Conditions Of Carry.

While our children do not have access to our weapons, meaning they can’t just go pick up a gun off the coffee table or the floor or out of my purse(I actually don’t carry iu my purse), they do know exactly where the guns are.  I think it is important that they know what is inside that box(safe) or why they are not allowed to go into said gun spot. 

As always I did a lot of research into this area and spent a great deal of time thinking and discussing what is the safest way to have guns in our home commingling with our children.  For us, knowledge and awareness are key.  All of our children, even the one who does not like guns, have handled the guns, empty, of course.  We let them handle them and if they want, shoot them, but they are not allowed to touch guns if I or my husband are not around.  We may have to adjust this as they age and get friends with parents who might have guns, but for now, DO NOT TOUCH unless dad or I are there is our family motto.  For me and the mindset thing, I will not even let my children have toy or water guns.  I think they are too young to distinguish between what is real, what is toy, so to eliminate the confusion, for now, the only guns we have are real, and they are not toys, so don’t touch them.  Every single time my 5 year old sees me get my gun out to put it on, he says, “DON’T touch.”  And he doesn’t.

The last part of the puzzle for us is our gun safes.  We have 2 in the house and one in each of our cars. We have a place for our gear like holsters and magazine pouches(things you wear that hold extra magazines, the bullet holders basically)  Our extra ammo is with it, but not our guns.  We do not have a large gun collection, so storing guns here and ammo there with an extensive plan for not making it easy for the bad guy to get an extra gun and ammo, really isn’t an issue, and I am assuming whoever asked me this question doesn’t either or they probably would already know the answers.  As our collection grows, we will have to address those issues.

How’d I do, got a clear picture?

I know you all are a shy bunch and nto the Chatty Cathy that I am, but if you have a method or idea to share, I am sure the folks who asked me about my carry, would love to hear from you.  The more one knows, the better choices one can make.

You may have seen this woman’s story on the news or read about her in the paper or you might recognize her from her INK Commercial.

To my knowledge she has nothing to do with guns and I certainly do not know her personally, but I love her story because it is a story of a woman who refused to be a victim and refused to give up.

Often times when we in the gun/self defense community talk about not being a victim we are referring to actually being attacked or physically harmed, but as I journeyed to gun ownership I found my biggest obstetrical was my own mind.  I have written about that many times in older post, but it bares repeating.

People who succeed in life have a mindset of never giving up.  Of never letting anything stand in their way and not letting anyone victimize them.  That does not mean they do not get hurt, or stumble or that they don’t ever doubt or struggle, but it means they will keep going no matter what.  That they will fight and if they have to, they will most certainly get Mean, I Mean Plum Mad Dog Mean.

I think I have that mindset, but I didn’t know it I did.  When I got scared, I freaked and retreated.  For me it was a fine line between giving in to fear, allowing myself to be terrorized by the idea of what could have happened to me and having the courage to fight.  Not just to avoid being harmed physically, but to have peace and joy.  To have control over my thoughts.

I was lucky because I had all the right people in my path.  As I searched myself and all around me, I found kind, strong, knowledgeable people who, many without knowing, gave me all the tools I needed to not only avoid becoming a life long victim, but also to thrive and smile in the face of the man who tried to take that from me.  Metaphorically speaking of course.

I think you all might enjoy this short article on this woman because she is a fighter, her food looks insanely good and she has a potty mouth.  I have found that gun folks have potty mouths.  I have developed a new appreciation for the “F” word since becoming a girl with a gun.  I am not sure I will start using it, but now when I hear it or read it, I kind of giggle and smile.  In a strange way, it gives me a little joy. 

Hope you get a little something from her spirit.

Sweet Revenge

I was pleasantly surprised to get an email asking about “My Man”  I giggled a bit when I read it, but of, course, who wouldn’t want to know more about this extraordinary person?!  Today seems like the perfect day to share a little about The Man behind The Girl And Her Gun.

He is also from a small town in Iowa.  He was a bit of a renegade, free spirit back when I met him.

He had the business in front, party in the back classic hair-do that screamed ladies man and, yes, he had the following of many young ladies to match.

We met at a friend’s 21st birthday party and to be honest, I was not impressed.  In fact, I remember telling my dad the next day about this total goofball I had met who seemed too interested me, but who I thought was too good looking and too popular for my taste.

Six months later, at the age of 20, we eloped to Colorado and I became his bride.

It’s your typical nerdy school girl meets gorgeous bad boy cliche that developed into a deep, deep passionate- thank- you- God -for- this- man -love- story.

He is hilarious, unless you ask one of his children, who will tell you with an eye roll, that he is in fact, not all that funny, but no one makes me laugh like him.

While his children will claim that is he is not at all funny, they often have a smile on their face when he is around and he is the very first person they go to if they need something fixed or a boo-boo kissed or a shoulder to cry on.

He is fiercely protective of me and the children.  He opens my door and orders my food. He gives me his coat and offers up his last bite of dessert to a special little girl with a big smile on her face. He gets me my first cup of coffee every morning and he insists on doing the dishes.  He carries a Glock and he knows how to use it.  He has a screw driver and a hammer and has no idea how to use them too. He is very steady and he calms me.  His presence makes me feel safe and somehow just being around him makes me feel both feminine and strong.

What might surprise you about him…he is a retired Marine without a single tattoo.  He makes a killer Martini, but rarely drinks.  He has amazing legs, and arms, and pecks, and, eyes, and, well you get the picture.

He does not have a wild side anymore, but he does cuss from time to time.  He also hates to argue, but does not have my fear of confrontation. He loves coffee, root beer, puff corn, and anything I cook, except…

my…

World

Famous

Berry Tart.

His least favorite thing to do is yard work and his favorite thing to do has to do with my “dirty” mind, but this is a family blog, so…

I just started watching gun movies and/or movies with guns in them and, of course, I don’t really know all the much about weapons in general, so I can not account for the accuracy of this article, but I thought it was a funny read.

Article

My husband reads all my post and he laughs and tells me I am brilliant, cuz he is awesome that way.

However, yesterday after reading my post Bad, Bad, Day, he vetoed the body guard idea.

So, having to rely on my own skill and since I was not all that confident in it, I headed back to the range.

It turns our my man knows what he is talking about.  I organized all of my magazines and placed my target on the stand, took a deep breath and shot and shot and shot.

Looks pretty good and it certainly is a ton better than Saturday, but it wasn’t where I was aiming.  I shot a ton of rounds and still could not get it in the center or even higher than the center.  I think at one point my hands were completely over my head and still, I was shooting below where I aimed.

I understand I have a lot to lean and far to go on this journey, but shooting straight is fairly easy once you get the basics down and I have had the basics down and have shot straight before, so this was very annoying to me.

I kept saying to my husband I don’t understand.  I am looking at the front site, it is lined up, the target is fuzzy and I know I am not jerking my hand to the left or down.

The more I shot the more frustrated I became.  It wasn’t that I need more practice or that I was making a mistake that was bothering me.  Of course, I need more practice and, of course, I am going to make mistakes. I was frustrated because I had not clue how to fix what was wrong.  I kept aiming and shooting and yes, it hit in the same spot and was a nice little group, but I am perfectionist and kind of want to hit what I am aiming at.  I am sorta funny that way.

My husband told me to keep shooting and I did.  He was watching my arm and my hand and he said, I was not pulling, jerking, or anticipating, so he said “this is suppose to fun, just shoot”.  So, I did, then he shot a few rounds and then me, then him, then me and then, it finally hit him, my grip. 

MY GRIP

I was griping tight(but not too tight, settle down) and doing all the things I was suppose to, but my strong hand(for me that is my left) was not tight against the dovetail thingy, so when I pulled the trigger, it naturally was at an angle pointing downward.

See the little 5 target in the upper left corner?  See all the shots below it?  Those are mine before the grip change.

Please, nobody tell my shooting instructor.  I vaguely remember, from the ringing that is still in my ears, him yelling, I mean talking to me about my grip.

Also, don’t tell anyone it had been about 2 weeks since I had been to the range and clearly, 2 weeks was waaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to long.

See all the shots on the 5 and pretty close to the it?  Those are mine after I corrected my grip.  I think I could have improved upon that, but I was out of ammo.  Only brought 250 rounds.  But, I left there with a big ol smile and a huge sense of relief.  I had a reason and something I could work on. 

Feeling mighty fine, we went home and my man made me a celebratory drink.

Gin, shaken, not stirred.

Then we cleaned

P.S.  I had one drink, I did not drink and clean, time had passed and there was no ammo.  I did not mix alcohol and guns in case you are wondering.

 If you follow the National Rifle Association on FaceBook than you have already seen this, but if not, watch it now.  The sound is awful, but the words are catchy.

Guns

At. The. Range.

I do not know what happened to me on Saturday, but I could not shoot worth a lick.

My first 2 shots didn’t even hit the target or the board that holds the target.  That has NEVER happened to me before.  Not even the very first time I shot.

I was able to hit the target from then on out, but still not quite where I was aiming and it wasn’t pretty.

Like any new beginner, I blamed the gun.  There was nothing that happened to make me believe that the gun had somehow morphed into a complete mess, but I think it is much better to blame the equipment than me.  I mean who doesn’t think it is a good idea to avoid responsibility and make it someone or something else’s fault?

After a few more rounds, I became completely frustrated and a little sick to my stomach, so I handed the gun to my husband, who proceeded to shoot an entire magazine, dead center, with a grouping about the size of a quarter.

Yeah, it’s not the gun.

What I could not and still can not figure out, is what the heck happened to me??

In an attempt to make me feel better my husband took the small round target off the stand and put it up to his chest to show me, every shot would have killed the bad guy(just an aside, yes, we know that if we shoot a bad guy in the chest he won’t necessarily die, but that is our lingo for now.  In the chest means dead.)  My man also said that everyone has a bad day at the range, that I am over thinking it and to let it go.  Those shots are down range, can’t be recalled, so don’t even try.

So, for now, that is what I am going to try to do, but one more day like that and I am going to give some serious thought to just hiring a bodyguard.

This woman is the founder and head of the shooting club I belong to.  She is a very impressive woman who has quite the resume.

The Divas

You know how I said I don’t like mean people?  Well, I still don’t.

I went to the store the other day to buy ammo for my gun and some for my son’s rifle.  I am standing next to the case with all the ammo along with another gentleman, waiting.  The clerk comes over and asks him if he needs any help and he says, “no, I am just looking”.  The clerk walks away.  I said, “umm I could use some help”.

With a slight huff and a drop of his shoulders the clerk says- “What do you think you need?’

Me- “200 rounds of the range ammo and 1 box of the personal protection ammo.  Also some, .22 long…”

Clerk- interrupts me, “I don’t carry long unless it is a for a rifle.”

Me- “Right, it is for a rifle.”

Clerk- Looking at me through the top of his glasses, “Are you sure? you can’t return this stuff?”

Me- “Yes, I am sure, thank you.”

Clerk- He rolls his eyes.  I mean he literally rolled his eyes.

Now, I do not know this guy and I am not entirely sure what his problem was, but I am going to say from his body language and tone he used, he assumed I was a moron, probably because I am a woman.  I say this because the interactions he had with several of the male clients did not get the same kind of grumpy pants attitude that I was blessed to get.

First off, I did know what I was talking about.  There was nothing in  my demeanor or in my tone that would make you think I was nervous or unsure about what I was buying.  Just because a person is not a boy doesn’t mean they do not know what they are talking about.

Second, most of the time I have no idea what I am talking about.

I know my gun and that is about it.  I shoot the same exact kind of ammo every time and I pretty much only shoot my gun.  I am brand spankin’ new to this stuff and there is so much to learn.  If you want to show off how much you know or if you want to use your knowledge to show how little I know, this can be accomplished right quick and with my full cooperation.

I do not think it much matters if I know what I am talking about or not, it is not your job to make me feel stupid or uncomfortable regardless of my knowledge of said subject.

This is a lesson I taught my daughter years ago.  Being smart, skilled or knowledgeable in no way makes you better and it certainly does not warrant being an, if I cussed, I would say a word that starts with an A, but since I don’t I will just say grumpy pants.

This reminds me of when we lived on Camp Pendleton before 9-11 and before 100% ID checks were required.

The Marine Corps requires those who work and live on the military base to register their car and to then place a sticker on the windshield of the car.  They have different colors to distinguish enlisted Marines from Officers.  When a car comes through the gate, if the gate guard sees a sticker that says this is an Officer’s car, they are supposed to salute, regardless of who is actually driving the car.

Many times when I would drive through the gate the guard would assume I was the wife and not the military member and therefore would not salute. 

One time my daughter asked me if it bothered me that the guard did not salute since dad was an Officer  I explained that it did not bother me because I did nothing to deserve the salute.  I did not warrant the salute and I do not believe in privileges by association.

However, I also said that by the guard not saluting he is saying something about himself.

It is true that in every walk of life there are people who are not nice and who use their position to make others feel less and there are, of course, Officers and their wives who use their position to belittle enlisted Marines, but that should have no bearing on how one conducts himself.  To me when a Marine does not salute, he/she is showing that he/she is not proud of who he/she is. 

If I drive through the gate and there was no salute,  I would smile and nod and be on my way, but if I drove through the gate and some young Marine snapped to attention and saluted, I smiled and got teary eyed.  For 20 years my eyes welled up with tears every single time.  Not because I deserved it, but because he clearly had pride in who he was and what he did and there is very little that moves me more than a Marine who gets who he is.   Plus, seriously, who does not getting a little tingle when a Marine salutes??

My point is, even if my status or my knowledge is far less than yours, I deserve the same amount of courtesy as you. The same amount of courtesy I will always give you, regardless of how you treat me.

I wish I was a more willing to deal with possible confrontation because looking back, I should have politely told the clerk that I did not appreciate his attitude and I should have left without purchasing the ammo. I am not quite there yet, but I am beginning to think it is time for me to learn how to stand up for myself a bit more.