A Night Out With The Boys

Last night the guys from my husband’s office were meeting for a little rendezvous at a local spot and they invited me along. My husband assured me there would be other people of the female persuasion in attendance, but as per the usual, that turned out not to be the case. In fact other than the waitress I was the only gal in the entire place most of the night.

I have met these men my husband works with, but other than a brief conversation at the gun show or the polite chit chat that is required at the company Christmas party, I haven’t socialized with them. I am the closest with Arete, of course, but even he and I have not really spent much time together outside of training, so it was fun to hang with them.

Here was the group make up…my hubby, me, Arete, and 2 other guys, let’s call them Esquire and Tiger.  There are an eclectic group. One is a very casual shorts, muscle shirt, covered in tats dude, one is a t-shirt, shorts, tennis shoe guy and one is a youngster, under 25 that looks like he is right off the cover of Esquire, thus the name. He wore a bright yellow shirt and tie. I think he came straight from the office, but the point is, he was pretty spiffy looking. Then there was me and the hubs. All very different from each other, but even so, every single one of them is a gun person. Some shoot more than others, but  all Second Amendment people. I even noticed Esquire had a knife and I think a flashlight in his right front pocket. I thought, “Nice guys.” “They like guns and knives, all have jobs, even though I am the only woman in attendance, how bad can this be?”

Hold that thought.

Everything was going along swimmingly until I inadvertently made a comment about Tiger and something like, Hey, roll tide boy. Tiger is from Alabama, so that seemed logical. Logical yes, smart, no. He is from Alabama, but and this a big but, he attended Auburn University. If you know anything at all about college football then you see my problem. That. Was. Not. A. Good. Thing. To. Say.

It was so bad that not a single person at the table had my back. Not Arete and not my husband. I had hung myself and I was going to have to untie the noose all by my lonesome. I apologized profusely, I begged, I cried, I pleaded, to no avail. I was desperate and in the fight of my life. I composed myself, did some tactical breathing. I remembered that I had trained for this very moment. The words of Sir Winston Churchill echoed in my mind…

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.

Eventually I did prevail and victory was indeed mine. Drinks were spilled, chairs were knocked over. It was a long battle. So long that it’s little vague in my mind as to exactly how I accomplished victory, but I am pretty sure at some point I offered to purchase one of these.

Once back in the good graces of Tiger and the rest of the crew, things went fairly smooth the remainder of the evening. We talked about Tim Tebow, murder, politics, politicians, broke ribs, Belgium, guns, plumbers, gun laws, and I listened to the boys talk a lot of shop. All and all not a bad way to spend a Wednesday evening.

31 thoughts on “A Night Out With The Boys

  1. As an Alabama resident, I see exactly what you did wrong. When I’m asked about Alabama or Auburn as my school of preference, I piss em all off and say “TEXAS!”

    Wanna really piss em off? Ask em how much they paid Cam Newton to play at Auburn. Wanna make em laugh? Call Alabama the best college team money can buy. 🙂

    I LOVE football season in Alabama (rolling eyes)

  2. Lol, I love how you tell a story. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to watch it all go down.

  3. All I can say is FLIPPIN> and that rope was not as long as you let on, although A Girl did a fine job extracting her feet and neck form that rope. She is a quick one when she chooses to be. (NOTE to self she is holding back during training)


    • It is okay to socialize and be friendly, just know that I listen, watch and see most things, but I know you know this so you’re just testing me to see how long you can string out the training then beat me down and leave me in the dirt. Don’t worry next week will be a good training week. PROMISE.


    • I am glad your not afraid of me, that would eb counter productive, besides your a Bad A$$!


  4. Frankly, I’d like to hear more about this prostitute you offered to buy (They sell ’em now? I thought it was more of a rental agreement.)

    • You will probably not be surprised to learn that this will be the first deal I broker with a prostitute. I am not up on the nomenclature. Rent does seem like the more appropriate term.

  5. Ohhh I lived in Bama for 4 years…Huge mistake!

    Home games where they play each other were nightmares. After the first few games, I learned the routes to the stadiums and avoided them like the plague. SUV’s with big long orange and black tiger tails hanging out the tailgates. Geesh, it’s football (college at that) Now give me a Bears vs Packers game anyday! I only root for 2 teams, Packers and anyone that is playing the Bears!

  6. Funny how even in the US there are some serious cultural landmines to step on that that average person knows nothing about. Even though I’d visited Alabama many times I was unaware of the rivalry, probably because I visited in the summer. Upon moving here I was told to pick a side. I always like tigers and my family was all Alabama fans so I decided to be a rebel. The older I get the less I care since I attended neither school, but being a fan is a lifestyle for a lot of people.

    And I agree with Erin. There are some juicy details missing from this story.

    • Yeah, people do get all worked about things that don’t matter, but then again, that’s what makes life fun. I love passionate people and those who have a zest for life as for the details…it’s gonna have to be a Vegas-like thing…some of what happens with my peeps stays with my peeps:)

  7. Female persuasion? You were talked into it? 😛

    The reason prostitutes are paid is so they’ll leave and not become permanent fixtures!


  8. I lived near Auburn for a while. What’s this Roll Tide thing?
    Guns Beer and Hookers. Some people call the cops, Agirl calls it Wednesday. 😀

  9. LOL. Have to do that to my Dad. He’s the Auburn fan, his brother is, of course, an Alabama fan and I (just to be different…and to facilitate the Saturday afternoon fights) am a Tennessee fan. I LOVE football season!

  10. There are very few fracaseseses that can’t be solved by the judicial (or liberal) application of prostitutes (yes, plural). The worse the case of “foot in mouth” disease, the higher quality prostitute should be applied. And sometimes quantity trumps quality…for instance, the current shenanigans in the Middle East could be solved fairly quickly (several weeks, at the latest) by the liberal application of a division or so of prostitutes (in this quantity, I would go low-quality, to spare the taxpayers’ checkbooks), wrapped in strategically-placed bacon strips (placed just so that they reveal all of the jiggly bits) should do the trick. Afterwards….well, you’ve got a lot of prostitutes, and a lot of bacon.

    I would suggest sending Hillary Clinton and various anti-Rights personas in with the prostitutes, but that would constitute “cruel and unusual”. Even the Japanese High Command of WW2 era would balk at those tactics.

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