to every one’s favorite pony aficionado, Erin
Erin recently wrote a post about having a hard day. We all have hard days, but those days are made even tougher when we let the bullies, the insensitive, the liars, the fakes, and the cowards get to us.
It is hard not to let them. Most are so skilled at being awful that they often have the upper hand.
When I first wrote my Open Letter post, I, for the first time received a ton of criticism and then after I broke my ribs, for the first time saw just plain meanness(I often use these 2 examples because they are the only two I have. I fortunately have not had a lot of meanness, so excuse the repetition). I was attacked not simple for training differently, but because it was easy. Being mean is extremely easy. I was called names, belittled and picked on, but it was OK because it was snarky and funny and I write a blog, so fair game.
I surprised myself at how little those comments bothered me. I remember reading them and not being upset or hurt nor did I feel like crying. That was not my normal reaction to events like that. I am perpetually nice and caring and sensitive, but for the first time I truly did not give a flying flip. It felt good.
In the comments of Erin’s post was left this…
John Galt- “When you can say “Fuck The World” and mean it, you free yourself up to make REAL friends.
No, you won’t have many. The concepts of honor, loyalty, empathy and all the others that make up a true friendship, have been drained out of most of the people in our crumbling society. This, however, makes the friends you do find even more precious.”
I could not agree more and I don’t think one has to become hardened or mean in order to achieve that freedom. It isn’t so much how I treat people or how I prepare my heart against harm as it is convincing my mind that I am good enough and the opinion of so and so just doesn’t make one ounce of difference.
Ironically, reading Erin’s blog and the comments she left here and else where had a huge impact on my ability to do just that.
I envied her writing and her no-nonsense ability to be who she was/is. Many nights I would read the nastiness of someone else and have to fight the urge to feel bad or to change. Erin was one of the people I looked to and that example helped me have the courage to be more me. Not to be her or like her or like any of the other people I respected, but by their example be more comfortable with who I was. Who I am.
By the time the rib thing came up I just didn’t care at all what anyone thought..
Now real people still hurt. I had someone I respected and valued and trusted who turned out to be a fake and a liar. That stung, but only for a day or so because in the end how someone treats you says nothing about you and everything about him(or her).
I think these lessons(as I have written about them time and time again) are valuable ones not only to have better day to day lives, but certainty as it relates to self defense and our safety. Not worrying what other’s think about us carrying a gun or a knife or screaming when we feel threatened Not worrying about being embarrassed. These are very common reasons why people allow themselves to be in more danger than they need to be and we need to get over it.
My wish for Erin on her birthday as well as for all of you, is that you find the courage to say screw um.
Have a beautiful day!!