Lessons

Thank you so very much for your support yesterday. All the comments left here in addition to those sent privately warmed my heart.

I would like to say that the email and the words this man chose to use didn’t bother me a bit and I went on my merry way because I hate to give him any satisfaction, but to say that would be dishonest.

The truth is his words stung a little. I am not sure that I will ever read those words and not be affected. The thing about bullies is that they find the thing that most terrifies you or scares you, or upsets you and then they use it to do just those things. Clearly my biggest regret and the thing that causes me the most pain stem from that day and revolve around my daughter.

As most know I have already faced those feelings and chose for the good of myself and especially my children to heal and move forward in a positive way, so although the words stung, they didn’t cause me great harm or pain.

I have to say if you are the kind of person who would write such an email and you got a single ounce of pleasure from knowing you caused another person harm, then that says an awful lot about you and what it says isn’t good.

Yesterday I decide to do two positive things. One be an example to my child and two make someone else feel appreciated.

I did not give her the details, but when my daughter asked me why I wasn’t my usual peppy self, I told her someone was unpleasant to me. I wanted to reinforce to her that no one deserves to have power over your life and they can’t unless you let them. I gave her enough info as to use it as a teachable moment without getting into the ugliness of it. She knows when I am down my tendency is to shut down, be quite and usually, if its bad, retreat to my room for an hour or so. I wasn’t that bothered by his words, but I wanted to make a point. I told her letting someone else keep you from the joys of your life is the real cruelty and one that can only be perpetrated by you. Letting anyone keep me down is not the lesson I want to teach. I want to teach how to not only keep going, but to do it joyfully. That is just what we did. We did school like normal, then got a coffee and headed to the library. A place we both love. After, she asked if we could head to the mall to buy her friend’s Christmas gift. As luck would have it fate intervened and handed me an opportunity for part two.

As we walked through the mall I saw a young Marine coming our way. He was mighty impressive in his Blues. Of course, he was a Marine in his Blues. Always impressive. He was on his way to lunch. Taking a quick break from doing the Toys For Tots gig. I stopped him, thanked him for his service and shook his hand. He was the sweetest young man. He thanked me and M. I asked if I could buy his lunch. He started to say no, but stopped himself and said with a smile, sure.

He went to a fast food joint in the food court, so it cost me all of $10, but it made him blush with gratitude making me feel like I had spent $100.

I had a major pep in my step the rest of the day and was down right giddy in EMT class. So much so that my classmates thought I had indulged in a little holiday cheer before class. They were giggling at my silliness. I was not obnoxious by any means, but I tend to be a very serious and quite student and not one to make jokes and comments(like TSM does). I had the class rolling so hard the one of the other instructors came out of her office to see what was up. I might have possibly been making a light hearted joke about her. She also laughed.

At the end of the day the meanness of this man probably gave him only a momentary second of pleasure and me only a momentary second of pain. Doesn’t seem worth it.

I am not sure how much joy the Marine felt or for how long, but I know when someone is kind to me, no matter how small, it carries me for a good long time. I know the generosity of the Marine letting me buy him lunch gave me a pleasant memory that I will hold onto for a long time and hopefully so will my daughter.

Have the most wonderful day and thanks again for the kindness and support you showed me yesterday. I will carry that with me too.

26 thoughts on “Lessons

  1. Absolutely awesome! :) That you can take a something like that and make it into a great positive for you and your daughter is totally cool!

    Enjoy your day! :)

  2. Good for you! When someone hands you a lemon..make lemonade.. only don’t foget to add sugar or that lemonade is going to suck.. catch my drift? Have a blessed day buttercup!

  3. I regret I didn’t look at your site in time to offer support when it was needed. Still, YOU managed things quite well, so it’s really not as if anything I could say was really “needed” after all now, was it? Still please accept a “good on ya!” from a fellow traveler.

  4. You are so fine a person it makes my heart dance and sing. What an honest, sincere, and utterly inspirational Friend you are!

    • You are so sweet! Thank you.

      P.S.TSM was reading the comments and said, “Oh Mazie posted. I was thinking about her.”

  5. I was away yesterday & also didn’t see your post until now. Wow, it truly amazes me at how people can be so brazen & think they are utterly righteous in their own mind.

    Good for you to overcome the idiocy & turn it around for that young Marine.

  6. Kudos to you!

    My favorite way of dealing with a bad day is to go out and randomly do something nice to someone. Ideally someone I don’t know.

    Last winter after a decent snowfall (8″ inches in 6 hours) my car wouldn’t start. Apparently one of the kids had turned on the dome light and I didn’t notice, it drained the battery overnight.

    I called into work saying I was going to be late, hooked the car up to the charger, and went over to shovel my neighbor on each sides driveways.

    One of them is retired gentleman, very able and mobile, but getting along in years. He said when he came out to see his drive shoveled (I was finishing the side walks) it made his day, he’d woken up dreading shoveling, and finally geared himself up to it, came out and saw it done. Started pulling cash out of his wallet, and I asked him not to. I said thanks for being a good neighbor, and I hope he has a great day. Went into work a two hours late, and had a wonderful day.

    Its amazing what kindness to others give back to you.

  7. It takes little or no effort to hurt or belittle. Usually it’s just a matter of exhaling while using your vocal cords. As you can probably gather by my posts, my brain is fast enough and quick enough I could easily walk that path. I don’t because there’s no reward in it, no pleasure or worth either.

    Causing someone to feel good on the other hand usually requires some sort of effort or personal sacrifice, though in many cases minor, such as spending 10 dollars out of your pocket. It requires effort of thought to properly complement someone, it requires effort in work to buy something for someone else, it requires personal time to go do something for someone else to help them. Many are not willing to invest any of those things, they seem to think the return on investment is somehow not significant. They do not understand the personal reward and satisfaction that comes from knowing you make someone’s day brighter.

    Both of my neighbors have offered money in return for my clearing their driveways of multiple feet of snow. Never once have I taken it, no need, the little bit of gas is mild in comparison to just being a good neighbor and person…

    Yet I’m sure that individual, who has a problem with you carrying a defensive arm, has probably never actually done anything for someone else. They think about themselves first and foremost and never on how to make someone’s life a little brighter. The worst part is they think everyone else is just like them.

  8. Wait a minute. You fed a Marine. Marine’s are trained in the use of weapons. And yet, no one in the mall got flattened by gunfire? This alone would ruin the day for the evil idiot who sent you that hate filed sputum.

  9. I am so happy your day unfolded as it did! I too had a young Corporal at the range working the Toys for Tots thing two years ago. Such a wonderful representation of all that is right with this Country! Resplendent in the Dress Blues. I can send you a pic, but I will not post it as it has all the range personnel in it.

    He was also kind enough to tell me after I caught a bullet fragment in the face during the bowling pin shoot that I did not want a stitch in the face and I would be OK. Well, coming from a Marine I thought their definition of OK may be somewhat different than mine!

    Carry on young lady! Don’t wrestle with a pig, you both will get dirty and you will not win. Hold your head up and do what you do!

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