Feeling Good

This morning while paying bills I turned on Mike and Mike on ESPN. David Stern the NBA commissioner was on talking all things basketball. I do not care much for that sport, so I pretty much tuned out the interview until Mike Greenberg brought up the recent shootings in Connecticut. Mike had asked Mr. Stern why they did the tributes to the victims before each game. Apparently they held a moment of silence to honor the victims.

Mr. Stern said(paraphrasing here), really it was worthless. There is nothing to do. We do these things to make ourselves feel better. It makes us feel like we are doing something and that helps us to feel good, but what did it do to help? Nothing.

Very well said.

This is what we do and I am no exception. I want to help others and I want to feel good. Who wants to dredge through life miserable and afraid? Not me. But feeling good should not legislated and it shouldn’t be paid for with the rights of others.

When we pass new laws, cancel television shows, stop accepting coupons from gun companies, when we enact new laws, etc, etc, etc. We are doing things to make ourselves feel good. It doesn’t matter if any of these things had any barring on the events that unfolded in that school or if they have any hope at all of stopping the next one. All that matters is that for a second we can feel better and we can go then back to sleep having effected nothing.

We control the mind not the other way around. If we just stop thinking about it and convince ourselves a few more laws or a few more restrictions will be enough we go on. That way we have “done” something. We have “done” all we can and plus it means we don’t have to actually DO anything. We don’t have to take responsibility or make any changes. We get to tell ourselves we did something, we tried and then we can blame the cops, the politicians, the crazy gun owners… We get to call folks who stock up on food and supplies wacko preppers because then we don’t have to give up a trip to Disneyland when we should probably be taking a look at how we can better prepare ourselves to first avoid and then deal with a disaster.

The only problems is people are dying and in gruesome fashion. They are dying. Those children died. They were murdered. Violently and without mercy murdered. If you have shed a single tear. If you claim to have an ounce of compassion. If you really care at all you will stop trying to do things to feel good and you will do something good. You will do something that has at least a chance of working. Making more laws that criminals will not follow is about making you feel good. If that killer was willing to break 24 laws then I doubt the 25th would have made a flying flip of difference. This monster was not sitting around watching Top Shot and planning his rampage. People do not murder casually. Punishing law abiding citizens who have committed no crime is about making you feel good.

I hate to break it to you, but when people are murdered it really isn’t about you or how you feel. I really have no desire to put my life at risk or my children’s and walk around defenseless, so you can feel better.

My mugging should have zero barring on the laws of this land. I am emotional about it, so right or wrong, I can offer nothing more than an understanding of what it is like to be mugged. Emotion does not have a place in law making. Laws are there to protect us from the power hungry, the corrupt and the emotional. For every victim who is for more gun laws there is an equal number against them. Laws should be made for the good of the entire people and should be put in place to guide us in times of emotion, not be developed out of them.

When I was mugged I blamed only 2 people. My attacker and myself. I can’t control him, so I looked at myself to figure out what I could do to put myself in a better position for survival should the element I couldn’t control decided to come after me again. I took responsibility. I didn’t blame the cops or the grocery store parking lot or even my parents. They had some influence as did society, but it was me who stood there and did nothing. It was me. I did not come after you or anyone else. I didn’t go to congress and ask for new laws to protect my lack of action. I took action. Law abiding, legal action and I took responsibility for my part in that day. I can tell you none of it felt good. I didn’t feel good after I picked myself up off the ground, I didn’t feel good as I hid in the bathroom and took care of my scraped up arms and back. I didn’t feel good when my so called friends turned their backs on me. I didn’t feel good when my daughter looked me in the eye and told me she didn’t feel safe because I didn’t stop the and guy. It didn’t feel good when I showed up in the park to learn how to defend myself. I felt anything but good. I felt sad and lonely. I felt lost and broken. I felt ashamed and confused. I felt scared and and hopeless. And I fought all of that everyday for over a year in order to take responsibility. In order to feel good again.

Not a single law has changed in my town since the day I was attacked, but I am safer. My children are safer. My community is safer. Granted I feel better, but I feel better because I know if my life is in danger again, I have viable solutions to up my odds of stopping the threat.

My extra bag of rice, my gun, my ammo, my kerosene heater are of real value to my survival. I used no government funds to purchase those items. In fact the purchase of those items only helped contribute positively to a failing economy. I have never harmed a single person. I am of no threat to you. Your desire to label me crazy and limit my rights will only serve to put me at more risk and it has ZERO chance of doing anything for you other than to make you feel good.

Please forgive me, but your facade of happiness just isn’t worth my life. I won’t hand it over without a fight.

21 thoughts on “Feeling Good

  1. You’re correct. Another anti-gun law would have made no difference at all. Murderers have been ignoring these laws since Moses came down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and the one that specifically stated “Thou shall not kill”

    The only point to passing these new anti-gun laws is to make criminals out of law abiding citizens.

  2. My Grandad used to say ‘well, dont just stand there, do somethin, even id its wrong!’ In later years I learned he was joking. Later again, I learned most lawmakers never realized that was a joke.

  3. It comes down to personal responsibility. Just like you said, AGirl.

    It is TOO easy to blame TV, the media, video games, gun makers, gun company investors, lax laws, or whatever. When something bad happens, blame is placed everywhere except where it SHOULD be. The one who committed the act is to blame. Sure there were influences, but ultimate responsibility is with the person pulling the trigger, wielding the knife, swinging the bat, or using their hands.

    When I screw up, I can’t blame anybody else. When the hammer misses the nail and puts a hole in the drywall, who or what is to blame? The hammer? Nope, hammer cannot move itself, so the person moving it is to blame. And guess what? If there was no hammer, somebody would use a pipe wrench, shoe, or a brick to get that nail in.

    You see, humans are funny like that. If a tool isn’t available, somehow, someway, we manage to find a way to do what we want to do. Be that good OR bad.

    Looking at this tragedy, I look at the perpetrator solely. While I question the judgment if his mom for keeping firearms in the house and not secured properly for him to get, it was STILL HIM that committed the act. Now people will say, “He was mentally unbalanced and didn’t know what he was doing.” I call BULLSHIT. He was going about his business killing these precious children. When the first sign of resistance shows up, he plugs himself.

    Truly a self-centered coward.

    If there is a hell, I’m certain he’s rotting there.

    I’m the survivor of multiple school shootings in my life – once as a young teen and once as an adult with my spouse and daughter at the same school I was attending. I don’t blame guns for what my friend did when we were young. I have issue with the boys who were harassing him and made him feel like he had no alternative (yes, he was bullied A LOT). But I still blame him for his actions – and he was a friend. I also blame the shooter in the university shooting a few years ago that put my wife, daughter, and me at risk. Not the gun. Not the circumstances. And certainly not the university (that does have armed police). The shooter there is purely to blame. Definitely unhinged, but certainly smart enough to know what was going on. She ended up killing my neighbor’s brother and a few others.

    Personal responsibility and accountability. I am responsible for my actions, choices, and words. I am accountable for those same actions, choices, and words. Today’s society full of government programs, handouts, and lack of values seems to have forgotten that most basic of concepts.

    May the death of those children serve as a reminder to all of us to be responsible parents, children, siblings, and humans.

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  5. “If we just stop thinking about it and convince ourselves a few more laws or a few more restrictions will be enough we go on. That way we have “done” something. We have “done” all we can and plus it means we don’t have to actually DO anything.”

    Oh, so true. It is so sad that so many people think this way and truly believe this. I don’t understand them.

    Very well written post! You nailed it better than I have yet seen. If people would take more responsibility for themselves than expecting someone else (the government) to take care of them, we would be so much better off.

  6. Well said!!!! Your post basically reinforced what I was trying to get across the other day. I am not an overly religious person. But I think it is high time folks realized something. “God” does not punish people or cause evil to exist. Think about something…..does lightening travel up or down? Each one of us has it in them to do good or evil. We are sort of prewired in a way. Granted, people do go off the deep end but overall we as a society “try” to do the right thing. Now…what I consider truly evil is when some politician uses a tragedy to further thier political beliefs or agenda.

  7. Yeah,what you said !! Very well done.I wish you had a bigger forum (not that you don’t have a following) so that more people could hear that message.You really have a way with words,and reading about your past ,and your daily life,just makes you more of a real “every day” person that people can relate to and trust.
    Good job.
    Bill

  8. We all here want to feel safe and do what we can to protect our families & loved ones: we are parents to our children, wives to our husbands, true friends to our friends. More than this we are neighbors and members of our community, in church, club, workplace and park.
    I honor the Bill Of Rights and welcome the freedom the Second Ammendment gives me. I also recognize that this was written 221 years ago against the backdrop of our emerging nation. At this sad time and remembering past atrocities I will now seek a complete ban on assault rifles – I will continue to proudly keep and carry my little Ruger.
    While I dont know many of you here I know that you are no different to my own neighbors; good people living in difficult times. We all need to do the right thing and show leadership.

    • Bull! You are not a supporter of the 2nd Amendment. The founding fathers didn’t mention anything about the kind of gun they meant. They were pretty smart men and had the ability to think about the future. Their concern was that a government might be corrupt(go figure) and they wanted the people to be able to defend themselves against it. Not sure how well a musket is gonna protect me against whatever weapons the government has, but I am guessing not well.

      I love you how you have decided you are smarter than the founder fathers and your opinion triumphs The Constitution. You have decided that “assault” rifles are bad, but your little Ruger is ok, so that means the whole world should live according to your beliefs.

      I’m just gonna go ahead and think for myself if that’s ok.

      And I am not supporting a ban on any gun period!

    • Um, Pat?

      The Founding fathers wrote the Second amendment BECAUSE they had just won a war where, for the first part of it, was fought almost entirely with personally provided military grade weapons, and whose first battles were triggered precisely by the government’s attempt to confiscate personally owned military grade weapons.

  9. Dang straight Girl. That’s the difference between a victim and someone who has been victimized. Surrender to the forces of evil and chaos is never an option.

  10. I do not really find words for the things they happend. It’s very sad and I never will understand this really.
    You wrote it to the point.-New laws will help nothing.Examples:

    Germany- My country were I live, with one of the most rigouros gun laws, and sad to tell,school shootings too.
    Great Britan- After the ban of small arms, crimainal acts with small arms increasde a lot.
    Switzerland- The land with the most automatic weapons at home and lowest crime count.

    As you wrote, the easiest way is to make new laws to make feel good but much more difficult is to recognise and help the weak (and bullied)people.
    Also law makers should learn from history!

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