Well, I went, I paid, I got my gear(my class is tomorrow), but I signed a year contract and the only thing stronger than my character is my cheapness, so I will be back tomorrow night for the actual class.

When I arrived no one else was there except C(the owner) and Mike(the finance guy). They said “We never thought we would see you again.”

I said, “Ye of little faith.” I did leave out the whole I was scared out of my mind and it took me 11 days to get my act together part.

Chad said 90% of the people who come in and take a trail class never do not come back. 90%…That seemed like such a high number.

While going over the contract with Mike, C popped in to tell me about the new gun he bought. That I can talk about all day long. Felt much more relaxed after that.

I will keep you updated.

*Saw this here.

I am continually amazed at the on going struggle I have to keep moving forward. Even when I make great strides and am convinced I have conquered and overcome whatever obstacle that was in my way, I find myself dealing with it again and again.

I realized a while ago that the person I had been training with was not going to follow through. Even though I was pretty sure back in December it has taken 5 months for me to find another place to train. I made lots of excuses for him and me and deciding there was not another quality place in the area, but those really were nothing more than excuses.

When I finally accepted that there wasn’t a good reason for me to be doing nothing, I got busy and serious about finding a place to train. By the grace of god and the universe I found it. I called, I emailed, I showed up, I faced all my fears and again, luck was on my side as this place was everything I prayed it would.

Success!

Or not…

It has been eleven days since I had my first class at that gym. Eleven days and I have not been back.I have changed my eating to meet the more stringent training schedule, I have focused on stretching and getting better sleep. I have been dressed with tennis shoes on and bag packed ready to walk out the door only to find some reason not actually get in Jayne(my truck) and go.

I have found a million reasons why I can’t go…it is expensive, my kids need me, my yard needs work, I am probably not going to need those skills anyway and on and on.  Everyday I get ready to go and TSM(my man) says good for you and then I say, “but we really need to put the money towards ammo or the carpet.” and he says. “Bullshit.” So, I say, “We are so busy and two nights away from the kids is a lot at this age and he says. “Bullshit.” “Those are all excuses.” “Just go.”

But, I don’t.

One problem with excuses is often times they have a bit of validity. Unless you are independently wealthy most all of us tend to have more than one valid thing that we could be putting our time and money towards. One thing might not even be more valuable than the next, but simply a matter of priority. If I stopped doing this and buying that then I could have plenty of time and money to spend with my kids(which I already to a ton of) and buy what we need and still make it to this place for training. I have, of course, known that all along.

Still, I didn’t go.

The real issue was, has been and remains to be, fear. As I sat here day after day, night after night thinking about this drill and that one and improving and having to spare with strangers who are more skilled, tougher, and who do not give a flying flip about me just flat out scared me to no end.

I was, as many of you know, afraid to train with the guy before too, but it was one on one and I had made a commitment to show up. I was not going to back out on my word to one person. Plus, I had the illusion that someone cared. That it mattered if I showed up. It was as much a character issue for me as it was facing my fears and so character trumped fear. Terrified and nervous, I showed up every single time.

This place doesn’t need my money nor do they care if I in the class or not. Whatever fantasy I have about someone knocking on my door and dragging me to train is nothing more than that…a fantasy.

The real character issue isn’t about the commitment I made to someone else(while important), it really is about my commitment to myself. A commitment I mostly certainly have not honored.

If I want to get stronger, more fit both mentally and physically, if I am serious about doing everything in my power to make myself more prepared to defend my life then I am going to have to give up the fantasy and find the courage to walk out that door.

And I shall.

Today is that day. Today I will be driving my truck, by myself, to the gym. I am going to pay my money and once again stare down that old annoying friend of mine(aka fear) and do what I have set out to do.

Today, I Stand Master…

 

My new friend Peter from Bayou Renaissance Man has a new book.

Peter was nice enough to email me and then let me call him to discuss shotguns a while back. His advice was right on and even though I didn’t get to pick out my own gun(thanks for buying me one honey:), I still found it so helpful and kind.

Anyway, here is a link to his book.

Here is a video of my friend’s house that burned down. It is a very compelling video of the personal devastation of fire.

 

I want to thank all of you who donated. I was personally touched and I know Ce and her family were as well. See her note below…

“On behalf of the Adams family I want to say thanks! Thank you to everyone who offered a prayer, a good wish or sent a gift card.

The outpouring of support and live we have received from the gun community out weighs what even our own family has done. So as AGirl said in a previous post you are our family!

Special thanks to the Rudek Family, the Belcher Family, the Desert Rat Jak Family, the Spider Elliott Family, Cindy and those who sent anonymously.
If I missed someone I’m sorry – I’m not getting to the PO box daily right now.

Now for a update on the situation – we are back on on property in a travel trailer. Living in a trailer with three boys under 5 is quite an adventure but we are all happy to be back out here.
We have started the clean up process and will be at that as well as the inventory list for the insurance company for a while.
The county fire marshal and the independent investigation hired by State Farm both agreed that it was a “attic fire of unknown origin”. They have provided our insured amount for the structure to us and now we have to give them a inventory list. They can then say we’ll reimburse after you purchase new or decide to cut a check for “inventory” (that seems like such a cold word). Either way neither the structure or inventory amount is going to cover rebuilding to the size of house we had with today’s prices. So, we are going to move forward with the clearing of the site and see what happens from there. The Lord has a plan and we are praying that it will be shown to us!

Thank you again for all your support!”

May is Celiac Awareness Month. I had no idea until this morning when I was reading my Wegman’s Newsletter. Wegman’s for those that do not know is a grocery store chain. They carry a lot of unique, high end, gourmet items and also a ton of gluten free items that are not only very tasty, but very affordable.

Anyway, since it is awareness month, I thought I would spread a little awareness. The link about is a pretty good, simple explanation of exactly what Celiac is and how it differs from an allergy or sensitivity.

As many of you know both my husband and 15 year old daughter have Celiac and we have had to make major adjustments to our diet to accommodate their needs. We are in full swing now and it is hardly even an issue anymore for us, but there is still a lot of misunderstands and misconceptions about gluten and the disease itself. Good news for our family is that we have seen huge improvements in both my husband and our daughter’s health.

Interesting thing though, my husband is still not feeling as optimal as he should be for a man his age and size. He is fit, not overweight, don’t smoke, doesn’t drink soda except for the occasional can of root beer and even more rarely alcohol.

He still gets some headaches and even though sleeps several hours is not happy to get up in the mornings, so we have been adjusting our diet even more. I have always been a firm believer in what you put in your body determines how you look at feel, but have never really gone overboard on diet. I have been fortunate that a balanced diet of everything in moderation has worked well for me, but I have to admit as I hit 40 staying toned has become much harder for me and of course the tiny “cancer” thing has gotten me thinking more about healthy and living and wanting to do both for a very long time.

I am not a fan of diets or fads or exclusion unless allergy dictates, so low fat, low carb, no carb, no sugar, all vegetarian just isn’t going to do it, but we are trying to eat less processed foods and more “whole” foods. I have added a ton more water to every ones diet and at least one 16 ounce of juice from our juicer and a lot less breads(even gluten free) and empty foods that do not offer any actual health benefit. Taste and pure enjoyment is not an empty calorie to me. That food offered something and joy is very beneficial, but if I can combine pure unadulterated joy with something that also added something to our overall well being while not taking anything from it(like energy or needed vitamins) then that is what I want to do.

In the short time we have been doing this everyone has seen improvements in skin, hair(those only took about 3 days) energy, sleep and less logy-ness and headachy.

We love food and we love different things. We have diverse palates and truly look forward to meal time That is a family thing I do not want to get away from. I do not want eating to be a mindless thing that we do for the sole purpose of nourishment  Brown rice, chicken breast and alfalfa sprouts(although we love all 3) isn’t gonna do it.

I am fortunate that I love to cook and love to experiment. I have the time and support and even screw ups are fun. Last night I tried to juice frozen blueberries. I defrosted them slightly, but not enough. Not only did my kitchen look like a crime scene because the blueberries were jumping out of the machine, I almost blew up my juicer…no biggy. TSM and I just laughed and spent 30 minutes cleaning up the mess while enjoying our hard earned juice which was devine!! Not everyone had the time or desire, but I do, so I am!

All of these new adventures(along with ammo shortage and economy worries) have left little time for guns stuff and since I am no longer wack-a-doodle(or at least a little less) there doesn’t seem much to write on the blog that goes with A Girl and Her Gun(I do have some product reviews and a gun course coming though). I thought about stopping the blog, but I would miss you all to much. I thought about changing the name to include all the new things, but A Girl and Her Gun and Family, and EMT and Self Defense and Healthy Eating and the Search for a Tighter Ass seemed a bit much, so instead I will keep the name (because really I just adore my identity as AGirl so much), but add more of my other goings on.

This blog really has always been about my life and my journey. Guns, supporting and encouraging women(and men), & the 2nd Amendment will always be a part of my life and this blog, but healing and how guns have played a role are not so central anymore. I can now expand beyond that. Not sure how it will look or take shape, but just wanted to give you a heads up.

I will say that this gun journey with all of you has been such a healing, rejuvenating time for me. I can say that each month(with a few setbacks) I have become stronger, healthier, more peaceful than any other time in my life. The changes that have come about from the “simple” notion of taking more responsibility for my own safety is nothing short of remarkable. That idea and the support I have found have helped me take risks, accept my new self(which is really the old me only more so) and find a whole new freedom I honestly never knew existed and as I have said countless times, I was a happy, peaceful, joyful person before this road.

Even with all the uncertainty and craziness our country is dealing with, this really is the best time of my life. Thanks for letting me share with you.

 

I have had a few people ask how the forehead treatments are going, so I thought I would give a quick update.

It has been just about 3 weeks(seems longer) of applying the cream and all is going as expected. The cream is called Imiquimod. It does not smell, it is not sticky or otherwise annoying  It doesn’t sting when applied. A day or so after it is applied my skin in that area scabs over then peals off and what is left is a smoother red spot. We can actually watch the spot changing shape and feel. It’s pretty neat.

My doctor did say that if there were any other cancerous places on my face or neck this cream would bring them out. I have not had any so far, but what is cool is that I did have some brown “age” spots that have cleared up since using this cream. My entire face looks healthier.

The lesson is the same as they preach: early detection, early treatment and not putting off seeing a doctor. I really think this will be a non-issue in a few more weeks.

Summer is coming up and while I have always(as an adult) been diligent about sunscreen and not tanning, I do like to be in the sun. I get cold easily, so I usually opt to stay out of the shade. This year I will do a  better job of avoiding long periods in direct sunlight.

A new holster was donated to me to try out, so a review on that soon as well as another holster that is on it’s way and of course I will be writing about taking my new shotgun out for a spin.

I am very spoiled…